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Gore Vidal: 1925 – 2012

Dear Gore Vidal, Few writers have touched my life the way you did. Your stories have enriched my life, haunted my memories, and were the lens through which I viewed my twenties. In 2003, my sister gave me a copy of your novel, The City and the Pillar, which is not only one of the very first novels to openly discuss complex gay characters, but is also the most heartwrenching work of fiction I have ever read. Equally captivating are your memoirs, Palimpsest and Point to Point Navigation. Through sharing your fascinating life story, you also shared your humanity. Your…

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Brace Yourself for Beautiful Bracelets

Dear Men of the World, Don’t you get sad sometimes that ladies get to wear all sorts of exciting jewelry and all we get to wear is watches and the occasional bow tie? Jewelry is fun, but there’s not a ton of it for dudes. One thing we can get away with is bracelets. Look how cool this guy looks, in part because he’s wearing those glamorous bracelets: Now, onto some bracelets I love, hate, and am ambivalent towards: Miansai, $95 at Mr. Porter Black and gold, the most luxurious combination in the history of time. Tods, $225 from Barney’s Co-Op…

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RIP: Rest In Paintings

Dear My Bed, I love you,  but you need a headboard. Right now, you look like this: So depressing I may as well be in prison. Okay, so my bed has striped sheets, pillows, and a blanket on it. But it’s still missing something. It’s in desperate need of a headboard. And what better for a headboard than a giant piece of art? I love the idea of sleeping with a huge piece of art looming over my head. I mean, who wouldn’t want an enormous egg floating above the bed? This one is pretty and minimal, the white laundry…

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Shopping, Staring, and Sweating in San Francisco

Dear Diary, My baby niece is the world’s cutest baby. It’s been scientifically proven and I have many pictures as evidence if you don’t believe me. I went up north for her first birthday about a month ago and enjoyed a weekend of family, fun, and adventures in the Bay Area. I grew up calling San Francisco “the city,” we went there all the time. So whenever I go back it feels a little like going home. It feels so comfortable and familiar there. My brother, his wife, and the my adorable niece live in Sonoma County (about an hour…

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Tourlando: My-So Called Neighborhood

Dear Hollywood Hills West, You’re a weird place. Kind of Hollywood. Kind of West Hollywood. Kind of Los Angeles. I moved into this part of town because I wanted to find a place as green as West Hollywood, but without all that appletini-scented-gay-gutter-bar-trash you find in the heart of WeHo (sorry, you know it’s true). Thus, I moved a neighborhood I thought was Hollywood. Only to find out months later that it was really called Hollywood Hills West. What attracted me to this place is that everything is so sprawling and mid-century. We have tons of eco-unfriendly lawns, palm trees…

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My Daddy Mac Needs a Caddy

Dear New MacBook Pro, You are so expensive and fragile. As someone who is also expensive and fragile, I know the feeling. We need special protection. We like to be wrapped in beautiful things that shelter us from the harsh world around us. This is why I am seeking the best laptop case in the world. I want something that is both stylish and allows me to throw my computer across the room without breaking it. Thus far, I have no case and have been clutching my computer to my chest as I navigate the cruel homosexual world that I…

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The Colors of Charlie

Dear Matthew Zink, I’m a huge fan of your line of men’s and women’s swimwear. Not only are your pieces well-fitted and glamourous, they also come in a variety of colors that please my eyeballs. I seek out color in all aspects of my life, from the interior of my home, to the art I make, to the clothing I wear. Thus, I was delighted to find a collection of swimwear that so unabashedly incorporates color. Below is a selection of my favorite suits in the very best colors. Vintage Soccer Short, $75 I’m a sucker for pink swim trunks. Nothing…

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Before & After: Paintingtimez in the Bedroom

Dear Normal Person, What do you like to do for your birthday? Do you like to eat spaghetti with your fiancé, simultaneously slurping on the same noodle until you eventually kiss? Do you like to go to Chuck E Cheese’s with a group of grown ups just to terrify the children and their parents? Do you like eat birthday cake, alone, in the closet? What do I like to do for my birthday, you ask? Well, I like to force my friends to paint my bedroom with me while we drink wine and talk about how a life without art…

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Are You Staring At My Breads?

Dear Bread Lover, Are you ever canoodling with a fresh loaf of bread, loving it, rubbing it all over your face and then you start to get sad, thinking about the future when that bread is no longer young and fresh the way that you once were? Well, never you fear! I have the perfect use for old bread. Keep reading. I like to make crostini with my soon-to-be-moldy-and-disgusting bread. This way, you’re not wasting food and you have a delightful treat to serve your unexpected guests. Speaking of unexpected guests, I have this fantasy that I live in a…

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Wallpaper/Dollpaper

Dear Keith Haring, Thank you for the wonderful body of work you left behind in your too-short life. I’ve always been captivated by the playful, graphic nature of your work. This is why I was attracted to the wall stickers inspired by one of your installations. When it came time to add wallpaper (or, rather, Dollpaper) to my dollhouse, I decided to add some Haring flare. Below are the images of the newly papered dining room. I can’t wait to move into my own falling down barn so I can put up the full-size version of this paper. In other…

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10 Non Ugly Sectional Sofas

Dear Reader, Do you ever sit up in bed, at a 90 degree angle, late at night, thinking about how much you hate sectional sofas? Me too. They’re often so ugly, annoying, and whale-like. They are the Ursula the Sea Witch of home furnishings. However, sometimes a room really needs a sectional. Usually when it’s too big for just a sofa, but too small for multiple sofas or a sofa and lots of chairs. I have a new client whose living room is, like, begging for a sectional, so I’ve had them on my mind lately. Below are a couple…

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Turning 30 in the Woods!

Dear Diary, I had a little bit of a hard time turning 30 this year. The thought terrified me, chilling me to my bones. But it’s not what you think. You’re probably thinking I was scared of getting old. That’s not the case at all. I love old people way more than I love young people. What I was really afraid of is the fact that my life had not yet lived up to what I thought it was supposed to as a twentysomething in Los Angeles. To understand why I don’t feel that I’ve lived up to my full potential…

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Birthday Cake…Not for you, Rihanna

By Contributing Food Editor Jared Levan To All the Cake Lovers, Yes–that was a Kylie reference. It’s been quite a long time since my last post, but in honor of an upcoming Hommemaker birthday (July 5th), I decided Orlando needed a post dedicated entire to cake. There are probably some of you who would prefer something on pie, pastry or pudding…but we’ll get to you and yours another time. For the big 3-0, Orlando has decided on a “rustic/woodland” themed extravaganza. Now you may be asking yourself, what does a rustic/woodland cake look like? That’s a good question. I had…

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Cover Thine Naked Walls In Stickers.

Dear Empty Walls, Are you ever sitting there all like “Oh my god I’m naked I wish someone would put a sticker on me”? And then you look around and all the wall decals out there are, like, totally gross? Well, I have found a solution to your nakedness. There a few wall stickers out there that will cover you in beauty and glamour. For the most part wall stickers are cheesy and gross and look like they belong in college dorms. But don’t lose hope! A few sophisticated options do exist… Keith Haring Wall Sticker from Blik. $50. I…

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All I Want For My Birthday Is Everything.

Dear Friends, Family, and Internet Strangers, In about a week, I am going to turn 30 years old. I’ve been freaking out about a little bit. Not because I am scared of getting older. I’ve always liked older people more than younger people (Young people are idiots, am I right? I’ve always hated them). The main reason for my freak out is that when I was little I thought being 30 meant being a total grown up and I still feel like I have the maturity level of Raven Simone’s beloved namesake on That’s So Raven (unfortunately for me, however,…

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Californiatimez: Hiking, Cactii, and the Most Amazing Plant Nursery on Earth

Dear Diary, Last weekend, some gays and I decided to escape the madness that is LA Pride and head to the little town of Fillmore, California to take a hike and discover new things. Naturally, because we are 90z gays, we took a Jeep wrangler, with the top down. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced riding in the back of a Jeep Wrangler, but a word to the wise: don’t ride in the back when it’s cold outside. It’s the coldest you’ll ever be in your whole life. I froze to death and it was really sad. But then…

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Whut Glamour: Tham & Videgård

Dear Swedish Architecture Firm Tham & Videgård, I discovered you a few weeks back when I was researching tree houses. You made this awesome treehouse: Not only do you design glamourous tree houses, you also design modern, exciting homes for lucky, beautiful rich people. Below are a selection of my favorites. House K This one is pretty minimal, cold, and scary from the outside, but looks modern and delightful from the inside. Nora I’ve always dreamed of living in a little box like this one. Garden House This house is genius because it takes something kinda depressing (lattice), blows up the…

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Palm Springs Overdose

Dear Reader, When I was a little boy, obese with braces on my teeth, I used to love whipped cream. We never used the canned kind, my mother always whipped it up the real stuff. I loved it until one day when I went overboard. That day I ate a whole entire bowl of whipped cream by myself. I’ve never been so sick in my life. I’m telling you this story not only to let you know that I was a fat kid, but also to provide a warning to you: too much of a good thing is a bad…

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Orlando’s Obsession: Tiled Fireplaces

Dear Santa, I know you love to come down the chimney on Christmas. But let’s be honest, when you emerge through the fireplace, sometimes it’s a bit of a let down. I mean, how many orangey-red bricks can you look at before you want to gouge out your eyeballs with a candy cane? I have a solution for you, Santa. It’s called tiling your fireplace and you’re going to love it. I’ve been thinking about tiled fireplaces lately because Emily and I have a client who wants to add a feminine touch to her fireplace. Tile is a good way…

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D.I.Why? Secret Painting Bulletin Board

Dear You, See this painting? I hope so, it’s right in front of your face. But guess what? It’s not a painting. It’s a bulletin board. Would you like to know how I made it? Me neither. But I’ll tell you anyway. First, I went to the art supply store where scary artist sales associate helped me find canvas. It costs about $7 a yard. I got mine from Dick Blick. I used acrylic paint I had leftover from a previous project. It’s a very pretty color of navy blue. I watered the paint down to give it a tie-dye…

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