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Five Fun Things For the Homme

Dear My Apartment, Are you ever scared, that someday, maybe even someday soon, I will fill you with so much garbagetreasure that you will look like the home of a deranged collector, forced to live alone forever because no one could ever love someone who buried himself in so many objects? I do. But sometimes I see something pretty and my eyes turn into spirals like the snake in “The Jungle Book” and I just have to have it. Regardless of whether it fits in my place or not. Luckily I have been finding a lot of tiny, apartment-size treasures…

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Whazup With My New Design Client Kelly Oxford

Dear Reader, You know, this summer brought about a lot of change for me. The love of my life ran out the door, screaming and crying about hating my ugly face (lie, mostly), my sister got married (truth), and I started working exclusively with my own clients, after years of working with Emily Henderson (truth). This summer was crazy and tumultuous and sad and gross, but now autumn is arriving and everything is falling into place and all of the sudden my life is glamorous again. I’ve started working with a great company that pairs designers with clients. The company…

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Why You Should Ogle Other People’s Homes

Photography by Alexander Evans Dear Diary, Los Angeles. It’s not really a walking city. But if you force yourself to get out of your car and wander around, there are plenty of things to ogle and admire. I came across a lovely building on Harper Avenue recently and decided to snoop around. While I enjoy where I live, one of my favorite weekend activities is to walk around and fantasize about living somewhere else, whether it be a glamourhouse up the street from me or this gorgeous Spanish Revival apartment building. Or is it a condo building? Also, what’s the…

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The Glamourest of Glamourtimez: Anjelica Huston & I Design A Space Together

Dear Diary, Last Friday I found myself standing on a deck in Venice with flashbulbs going off. How did I get here, you ask? Well, I was part of a glamourous marketing campaign organized by Airbnb. Five different designers paired up with five different celebrities to design pop-up Kithauses all over LA. I was lucky enough to be paired with Anjelica Huston. Which was clearly a dream come true. Everyone keeps asking me how it was to work with her and all I can say is that she was the most pleasant person ever and that her voice is so…

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Let Them Wear Cake!

Dear Cake, I became aware of your awesome fashion line recently and I just had to share it. In addition to your glamorously simple logo, you have a line of clothing that is just edgy enough to be classic while not screaming so loud that it’s annoying. Flag, $120 I want to hang this awesome flag in my apartment, so I can pretend I am the president of my own country where geometry rules and everything is in glamourous black and white. I need the following hats for my fall look. My “fall look” is that I don’t have the…

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My Most Exciting Design Project Ever

Dear World, Careers. They’re like “yay” and then they’re like “nay.” And they’re like “fun” and then they’re like “done.” And then they’re like “wheeeee!” and then they’re like “whyyyyyyyy?” Basically what I’m saying is that in any career, as in any normal life, there are ups and downs. I’ve definitely just entered into an up phase, as I just procured one of the most exciting collaborations ever. I’m designing a space in conjunction with, wait for it. Pause. Dramatic silence. Anjelica Huston. Right! What? I know. Anyone who knows me that I totally don’t care about celebrities. My stock…

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Glamourtimez: My Sister’s Wedding

Photography by Stephanie Secrest Dear My Sister, In order to explain your wedding, I must first explain where we grew up. We grew up in the middle of the woods in Yosemite National Park. I don’t think anyone who grew up there really appreciated what we had until we left for college. When you grow up surrounded by some of the most beautiful vistas on the planet (outside my bedroom window was Yosemite Falls, through the living room window you see Half Dome), it doesn’t phase you. And you act bratty, and whine about how there’s nothing to do because…

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This Week in Instagramz

Dear Reader, You know, sometimes the week gets away from you and then it’s next week already? That’s kind of what happened in the last few weeks. A huge wildfire raged near my hometown (don’t worry, my parents are fine and the fire is far away from where they live), some big job prospects (which I can’t talk about just yet) arose, and I continued working with my design clients and meeting new ones. Because I have codependent relationships with all of my friends, I tend to make plans to hang out with them almost every night. Last week, I…

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Take Me to Haverland: Part 3

Dear Michael Haverland Architects, One of my favorite houses ever is the house from Beetlejuice after Delia Deetz (Played by WORLD TREASURE Catherine O’Hara) revamps it completely. It’s the perfect combination of old timey East Coast glamour and 80s ridiculousness. I know that we’re supposed to hate that house because it represents O’Hara’s crazy character but I have always loved it and wanted to live there. The Beetlejuice House Michael Haverland’s Shelter Island House Below photographs by Laurie Lembrecht Being that I love that Beetlejuice house so much, it should come as no surprise to you that I love this…

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D.I.Why? How To Stretch A Canvas

Dear Aspiring Artists, As someone who went to art school, I’m often approached with people asking about how to make art. So I’ve decided to do a little mini-series documenting how to make a giant painting. First, if you’re doing a custom size, you have to stretch your canvas. Of course, they sell pre-stretched canvases, but those don’t come in every size. So, if you love making giant paintings like I do, you must stretch it yourself. Now, a few caveats. Firstly, this is an easy way to stretch your own canvas at home. There are certain shortcuts I use…

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Whut Glamour: Emily & I Makeover A Luxurious Los Feliz Home!

Dear Homelovers, Ever wonder what it’s like when Emily and I install at a house we designed? Check out this video of us installing, pillow-fighting, and dancing. The video even has a SHOCKING surprise ending where you find out that Emily and I are in love and that I am the real father of her upcoming baby. YAY! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1WgmqqcivE&feature=youtu.be] Thanks to JBL for sponsoring this video series! Love, Orlando

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Fashion Fridays: Catsweatshirttimez with Landon from Fashion Goggled

Dear Landon from Fashion Goggled, Things I’m entranced by: 1. Your cat sweatshirt: 2. Your cat sweatshirt: 3. Your tattoo. I have been blabbing to everyone for over a year about how I want a tattoo that is a perfect circle 1 pixel wide on my inner-forearm but no one knew what I was talking about until I showed them your tattoo and said “This, but a circle.” Now everyone knows what I want and I have you to thank you for it. Bless ye. Photos by Tan Camera and Kristen Read more about Landon’s uberluxurious cat sweatshirt and glamourgeometry tattoo…

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This Week in Instagramz

Photos by Sabino00 on Instagram This week was one that took me on a crazy California adventure. I took a road trip with my friend Sabin to visit my parents in Yosemite, my hometown. My parents are moving soon, so each trip there is a little bittersweet, the anticipation of losing a place that helped form my identity as a total rural weirdo. Sabin is a master Instagramer, so this week I’m using mostly his images instead of mine. Mainly because every time I wanted to Instagram something he’d already done so, like, perfectly. This is the currently-dry Yosemite Falls, which…

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D.I.Why? Turning An Ugly PoorPeople Mirror into a Pretty RichPeople Mirror

Photos By Erika Gragg Dear You, Are you ever sitting at home, wishing that a stranger on the internet would tell you how to do something you already know how to do? Well you’re in luck, because today I am going to show you how to paint a frame. It’s an activity that’s so easy that a goldfish with no fins, tail, or eyeballs could do it. Here’s what you do: 1. Go to Goodwill, Out of the Closet, or another thrift store and buy an ugly splatter painted mirror. Make sure that although the paint is ugly, it is…

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Take Me To Haverland: Part 2

Dear Michael Haverland, I’m obsessed with your architectural projects and have embarked on a series to expose them to the world. This week’s feature is the glamourous Waterfront House in East Hampton, New York. I love myself a giant window, and so this house is just what the doctor ordered. I love how simple and graphic the design of the exterior is. I am fascinated by these sculptural cast bricks on the exterior. And by “fascinated” I mean “confused.” And by “confused” I mean “worried.” And by “worried” I mean “angry.” That I’m not laying by this pool right now, sipping…

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In Honor of Jeffery Self: Empowering Breakup Songs

Dear The People Of The Internet, Have you been following Jeffery Self? I have. He looks like this: You can check him out on his hilarious YouTube channel and read see his posts on Tumblr. I fell in love with Jeffery and his co-comedian Cole years ago when I saw their ridiculously awesome Recession Video. A few years after he made that video, Jeffery started dating an adorable guy and they had the cutest relationship ever, which was documented heavily on social media. It looked like this: I met Jeffery and his boyfriend Patrick at a pool party last year and…

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Friday Fashonz: What’s On Justin?

Dear Gorgeous Person Reading This Post, Are you reading Scout Sixteen? You should be. It’s just basically a whole site of Justin Livingston wearing cute outfits, standing on cute streets, being cute. So I’ve decided to start featuring him so that we can all ogle his outfits together. Enjoy! This week’s outfit is a glamorous floral shirt with some perfect-fitting jeans (I could use some of those). I need an outfit transplant. Like, now. Check out the full details of his ensemble here. Love, Orlando

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This Week in Instagramz

Dear California, I’ve been enamoured with you ever since I left you at 18 and spent all those years on the East Coast yearning to move back. Every day here is chock full of beautiful things to discover. Sometimes, I wake up, palm tree swaying outside my window and just think to myself “How many wonders can one cavern hold?” California. She’s got everything! This week took me on a glamourously lonesome trip to Ojai: My La Habra Heights Clients. I did a totally fun, hand-painted feature wall in their kids’ playroom. Now I kind of want kids so that…

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Whut Glamour: New Illustrations from Richard Haines

Dear Richard Haines, Every once in a while I find it necessary to peruse all the wonderful drawings you share on your gorgeous blog  What I Saw Today. They are the most beautiful fashion illustrations in the history of time and they make me want to live in a world where I am made out of gorgeous, gestural strokes of charcoal instead of flesh and bone. Here are some more recent entries: Love, Orlando PS: See more hyperbeautiful Richard Haines works here.

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What Happens in Ojai, Stays on Hommemaker

Dear Diary, My friend Evan had a birthday party in Ojai this past weekend. At his aunt’s uberglamourous Ojai estate. I went because I wanted to celebrate Evan, but also because I’d never been to Ojai and was always curious what it was about. My only impression of it comes from Real Housewives and Brothers & Sisters. It turns out it’s a totally cute place in the middle of nowhere. Which is the exact kind of place I like. The weekend was filled with glamorous pooltimez, drinking, and laughing whilst staring into each others eyes, loving (this creeps out my…

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Dear Gays, Are You Racist?

Dear Self, “What are you?” is a question I get a lot. Usually people ask me that question because they want to know what my ethnic background is. As you may have guessed by my full name, Orlando Dumond Soria, there’s a crazy collection of ethnicities going on behind these blue eyes, sandy brown hair, and butter-tone skin. My racial breakdown is as follows: Mexican 50% (via Spain, like generations ago). French/Polish/Scottish/English 50% (and probably every other European country). My father identifies strongly with his Mexican heritage, my mom sort of cares about her Whitepeople lineage, and I sort of…

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This Week in Instagramz

Dear Reader, It’s impossible to explain this week’s Instagramz, or my week in general, without first showing you this clip from “My So-Called Life”:[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J35604WHlEs] Yes, Angela, you’re right. There is something about Sunday that makes you want to kill yourself. I woke up on Sunday morning. Alone. In my bed. After a night where I tried to go out (To see Cher. At Rasputin. Like, ironically) but got too upset and depressed and sad about missing my ex boyfriend to do anything except go home and drink alone whilst watching The Truman Show. (Sidenote: Why does no one ever talk…

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Take Me to Haverland: Part 1

Dear Michael Haverland, I discovered your work a few months ago when I visited the gorgeous Abernathy House, a lovely estate you renovated in Palm Springs. I quickly became obsessed with your work and am now embarking on a series to share it with the rest of the world. I’m starting with your Glass House project, a beautiful Hamptons home that’s basically made out of windows. I am obsessed with light, so it’s my dream to live in a house that is made out of glass. All photographs courtesy Michael Haverland Architect. Photographs by Chris Bausch, Billy Cunningham, & Laurie Lambrecht….

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Whut Glamour: Art by Pierre Le Riche

Dear Pierre Le Riche, Why don’t I know you? I’m obsessed with your work. Your recent Broederbond installation is nothing short of genius. Juxtaposing the colors of the Gay Rainbow with rugby balls, you bring to light issues of oppression in post-apartheid South Africa. The work is playful, thoughtful, and intriguing. You describe it in the following way: Broederbond investigates the history of Afrikaner masculine hegemony in an attempt to validate the acceptance of homosexuality in Afrikaner culture. The body of work does not use vigorous activism to promote change, but rather becomes an activism that invites the viewer to grow. My art strives to…

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