Whut Glamour: Textiles Designed by a Hunk and His Dog

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Dear Diary,

This weekend I found out about a glamorous line of luxurious textiles designed by a Hunk and his dog. The brand is called Zak + Fox. The name derives from these two homosexuals:

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It’s not easy to find fabric that is modern and cool without being cheesy and disgusting, so I was excited to find this company. Also, I find it totally mind-boggling when Hunks design things. Like how Brad Pitt is all “I’m an architect” and everyone just looks at him and goes “Take off your shirt and go frolic with a beach ball.” There is a whole world of Hunky Gay Designers. I don’t know how they find time to design stuff between going to the gym, laughing in large groups whilst walking shirtless, and luxuriating in the sun by the Hunk-filled pool. Also, isn’t “Hunk” like the best word ever? I just want to say it all day. In other news, here’s my favorite pattern from the Zak + Fox collection:

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I love these graphic guys, I kind of feel like they were designed specifically for me. I’d totally wear a shirt made out of this:

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I am liking this pattern as well. I want to make a pillow out of it. And then nuzzle my face so hard into it that I smother myself to death. I like it that much.

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These patterns are kind of tribal. And modern. And cool. Which was totally the look I was going for at Coachella this year. Sadly, I failed and ended up just looking like an Urban Outfitters Douchebag.

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Finally, here is an image of one of the textiles applied as wallpaper. Amazing, right? I just want to live in that world. To snuggle that dog. To rub my face all over the wall. To weep into those beautiful drapes, pining for past loves and loves of the future, dreaming of a world where peace and equality are a reality, not a dream, where Hunks pour from faucets and glamour is a human right.

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And here is an image of Zak + Fox just being Zak + Fox. Does’t that name seem like a great name for a Disney sitcom? Like Zak + Fox: The Zany Life of an Alien Teen and His Ghost Dog? I would totally  watch that. Anyway, here’s another fabric used to upholster a sofa:

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Now go buy some fabric, have it made into pillows, and smother yourself in opulence.

Love,
Orlando

8 thoughts on “Whut Glamour: Textiles Designed by a Hunk and His Dog

  1. This is my new favorite blog! I found you through Emily Henderson’s hilarious “redecorating after a break up” post and you both just made me crack up. Keep it up darling!

  2. he’s the coolest. i found out about his fabrics when Brian Paquette used them in one of his projects. gorgeous!

    1. What ADD meds? Speaking of meds, don’t you just love Mediterranean houses? And club med? And the medical drama “Greys Anatomy”? Oh my god, McSteamy! It’s so hot today. Also, goats. What were we talking about again?

  3. i love those textiles, thanks for sharing!!! so beautiful and relaxed modern at the same time.

    i’m working on a project at the moment and am in desperate need of a sewer to make cushions for a built in seating area – do you have any vetted places in LA that you could recommend? i would so greatly appreciate it!!!

  4. Dear Orlando,
    You are the best! Love your blog and your sense of humor. My sister was talking about this hilarious decorating blog she reads and I am so glad she shared it with me. I’m like a kid in a candy shop reading all your back posts. What fun! Thanks for sharing your design expertise mixed with life experiences.

  5. Dear, dear, dear Orlando. Thanks for making my day with this post. Your wonderful. Do what you do, you do it so well. Hunk is my favorite word. Next is dupioni. Ha!!

  6. I’m obsessed. You are just lovely. I was devastated by your breakup post, and now I’m absolutely enamored with the print that looks like my old organic chemistry models. When you post, it’s like sunshine.

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