How To Throw A Dinner Party: A How-To for the Half-BrainDead!

Dear Diary,

While I was spending the holidays in Yosemite National Park, the home of the tallest waterfall in North America, I had the honour of hosting a totally glamorous dinner party for my BFF Caitlin. Caitlin has been a very, very close friend of mine since we met in high school. Her birthday falls on the 28th of December, which means that all the goyem are usually still too busy celebrating Jesus’s birthday to remember to celebrate hers. But not me. I got my delightful mother to help me throw a totally glamorous (yet simple and easy) dinner party. What I learned from this experience is that all you need to throw a completely delightful dinner party is the Martha Stewart website and an unpaid laborer (in this case, my mother). Anyway, here’s my how-to guide of how to recreate my simple, yet glorious, dinner party:

Macaroni and cheese:


Chocolate Cupcakes:


I opted for Cream Cheese Frosting instead of the Buttercream Dear Ol’ Martha suggested because, let’s be real, cream cheese makes EVERYTHING taste more delicious. And yes, by “EVERYTHING” I mean “frosting, but not much else unless lox are involved.”

Cream Cheese Frosting:


Our friends Tori and Suzanne brought over a wonderful and crunchy salad and [BOOM!] we had a simplely scumptious meal in just a matter of minutes (approximately 300 minutes I’d imagine).

Upgraded Asian Salad Recipe:


If you are ever ┬áhaving a dinner party, you really don’t need anything but Martha’s website and your ingredients. The woman (and her team of thousands of Hommemaking Cyborgs) knows everything. Her recipe finder is an invaluable tool for any aspiring Hommemaker who wants to host dinners but actually has no idea how to cook. For those of you who think you’re terrible cooks I have the secret to success. They are called “recipes” and if you follow them, you will win. I promise. Unless it’s a recipe for potato salad, which I find universally repugnant.



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