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I’m A Giant Update

Dear Dolls Waiting To Move Into My Dollhouse, Due to reasons beyond my control, there has been a slight delay in the construction of your home. Emily and I have been swamped with full-sized human clients and it turns out your house has been swept to the back burner until we get our human interior design projects further along. Don’t be sad, Dolls, I did see this wonderful fixer-upper at Rose Bowl over the weekend (for $68!). If you like, you can rent it while you wait for your glamour barn to be built. I know it’s not your style,…

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Cover Me In Music

Dear Maxence Cyrin, This morning I woke up with grandiose plans of cleaning my whole apartment, making three pieces of artwork, finishing that boring New Yorker article about Keynesian economics (I’m sorry, sometimes economics makes my eyes glaze over), and going to the gym for 7 hours. But then I came across your cover of Where Is My Mind by the Pixies and I couldn’t stop listening to your songs. So now here I am, stuck inside on this gorgeous, clear Autumn day in Los Angeles. Listening to the most beautiful music in the world. It’s the perfect combination of high-brow,…

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Are You Vegan? Or Racist?

Dear Human, Do you ever wish there was a better way to describe things as “awesome” or “lame”? Well, I’ve thought of a new system. Actually my brother thought of it like tens years ago and now I’m sharing it with you. Basically, anything good and righteous should be referred to as “vegan.” Anything lame and vile is “racist.” These are good descriptives because what could be worse than a racist? Or more righteous and awesome than a vegan? I may eat whole animals and blocks of cheese, but I still consider myself a vegan. In spirit at least. I…

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LA Street Art: Bad

Dear Whoever Spray Painted “Bad” On That Apartment Down The Street From Me, Not terribly original, but it still made me happy. I love you. Love, Orlando

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HommeBoy: Flula!

Dear Flula, I had no idea who you were until yesterday, when I discovered you on one of my friends facebook walls. It seems like you’ve been around for quite some time and might be late to the game but I’m happy I found you. You are the funniest person in the whole world. For those of you who don’t know Flula, he’s a German DJ/comedian who lives/works in Los Angeles. At first I thought his German accent was a put-on, but apparently it’s real. He’s super witty and ridiculous, which is evidenced in the videos below. This is a…

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The Golden State: 1980s

Dear Reader, Now it’s time for the real golden age of California. The 80s. Here is a Joan Didion quote about how we conceptualize places (as I have conceptualized California): “A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image.” – Joan Didion So onto the golden 80s. Here is a picture of my sister and my cousin in my grandmother’s house. That wallpaper is horrifying/awesome. My mother at a friend’s house. The carpet, the lamp, the…

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Oh My Good!: Chipotle Commercial

Dear Diary, Last night I went to see the film Weekend. It was a pretty awesome movie if you like to watch gay British hipsters fall in love. But that’s not what we’re here to talk about. Before the main feature played, a short film was screened. The soundtrack to this short film is a Willie Nelson cover to Coldplay’s “The Scientist,” which was the soundtrack to my very first breakup after my very first time falling in love in college. Naturally, because I had such a strong connection with the song and because this little short film was so…

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LA Street Art: Tape Wall

  Dear My Neighbor That Covered His Wall With Colored Tape, That’s a cool way of doing graffiti without having to commit to anything. I love you. Love, Orlando  

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I’m A Giant: Weekly Update

Dear Wierdos, So I’m still hard at work making my dollhouse for the I’m A Giant challenge. Emily, Corbett and I took a field trip to a dollhouse store (yes, they exist) in Torrance. The owners of the store are total dollhouse experts. They know everything about how to make a proper dollhouse. I took a few inspiration pictures there, but didn’t buy much because I’m trying to make my dollhouse as cheap as possible. I do like this little globe though. One of the Liliputians that lives in my dollhouse is an artist, so he’ll be needing one of…

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week: Kim Kardashian’s Wedding!

“…So I told Kim Kardashian, ‘I’ll come to your stupid ass wedding but only if you give me one of those bedazzled jewelry boxes you gave all your bridesmaids!’ She didn’t respond. So I slapped her.” – Joan Didion* * This is not a real Joan Didion quote. But how awesome would it be if it were?

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Cinespia: Outdoor Cinema & Fashion Show

Dear Cinespia, Why did you have to leave me? It’s too soon. Oh how I loved ye… For those of you who don’t know, Cinespia is a seasonal film series that plays each weekend over the romantic summer months in Los Angeles. What sets it apart from other film series is that it takes place in the beautiful Hollywood Forever Cemetery. This year, Cinespia celebrated its 10th year and played a bunch of classic crowd pleasers. The final screening of the season was ET, which, like Oprah, everyone is morally obligated to love. These film screenings are see-and-be-seen events, filled…

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Orlando’s Obsession: Woodland Design

Dear Design-Loving Woodswomen and Woodsmen, I’m sure all of you have heard of Yosemite National Park. It’s one of America’s treasures and was the first natural space set aside for protection by the U.S. government. It’s also my hometown. What most people don’t know about Yosemite is that people live there. There are about 1000 residents who live within the park boundaries. I lived there because my mom runs the little grammar school there and my father is the park’s dentist (because no matter where you are, you should never neglect your oral health!). As you can imagine, growing up there…

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I’m A Giant (Weirdo)!

Dear Readers, The other day I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when my friend Emily called me to tell me some exciting news. I was crossing a loud intersection (Crescent Heights and Sunset) when I heard her scream into the phone, “I bought a house!” I was both perplexed and livid, because I hadn’t heard a thing about buying a house. Emily is one of my best friends, so I was mad she bought a house without consulting me first. I get very excited about home buying, and sometimes force rich people to look at houses…

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D.I. Why? Orb-lando

Dear World, Do you want a chandelier that’s uniquely you, but don’t know where to start? Well, you’re in luck, because a few months ago I made a delightful Orb chandy I’m calling Orb-lando. AND SO CAN YOU! Emily, my secret lover, and I used this chandelier for one of my favorite Secrets From A Stylist makeovers. It was a contemporary makeover, infused with Japanese influence and a kick azz modern art collection. Anywayz, onto the chandy. Here is the initial drawing I made for inspiration: And here is how the actual Orb-lando turned out: So now that all that…

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The Golden State: 1970s

Dear Reader, It’s time to re-enter my family’s California photo archive. Now it’s onto the 70s. I feel a Joan Didion quote coming on: “California is a place in which a boom mentality and a sense of Chekhovian loss meet in uneasy suspension; in which the mind is troubled by some buried but ineradicable suspicion that things had better work here, because here, beneath that immense bleached sky, is where we run out of continent.” – Joan Didion “Chekhovian loss”? Why so lighthearted, Joan? Anyway, here are my aunties and uncle in front of their childhood home. Ok, just a…

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Blast From The Past: My Old Studio

Dear Diary, In 2007 I moved into a little studio apartment in Los Angeles. It was my first time living alone and only my second apartment ever. My little apartment was in an old Spanish style building in Hollywood near Runyon Canyon. For some reason my block was totally gross and disgusting, but every other block surrounding was gorgeous. Anyway, it looks a little cheesy now that I’m four years in the future, but I loved this shet out of that apartment. This is my kitchen. The floor was a DIY featured on Design Sponge a while back. I still…

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week: Xanadu

“I’m taking my ass home and watching Xanadu.” – Joan Didion * This statement was not made by Joan Didion. This phrase was actually uttered by Cort Hightower, actor and Olivia Newton John historian. 

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How To Make Lame Art Cool

Dear DIY Diary, I bought an awesome, yet stupid, painting at a thrift store recently and I was looking for a way to make it more challenging. I knew I wanted to add text but didn’t really want to invest the time in painting it so I decided to use vinyl lettering. Here is what the painting looked like sans text: Here are the letters I bought from Koonz Hardware in West Hollywood. If you live anywhere near Los Angeles and you love old timey hardware stores, you have to check out Koonz. It’s totally awesome. And here’s the text…

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The Golden State: 1960s

Dear Reader, It’s time for more vintage images of California, this time from the 1960s. These are some of my favorites. The fashion, the glorious matte colors, the oppressed look in everyone’s eyes. Since I love quoting Joan Didion, here’s what she has to say about California: “The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion will live here in only the most temporary way.” – Joan Didion Of course my family doesn’t necessarily believe this illusion – we’ve been in California for generations. All these old photos express a carefree, glamourous lifestyle lived…

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Extreme Makeover: Chris Crocker Edition

Dear Chris Crocker, Most people know you from the “Leave Britney Alone” Youtube video you made a few years ago. What most people don’t know is that you had been recording video performances for a long time before you became instantly famous, and that many of those videos are genius. There is a new documentary about your life coming out soon and to go along with your new movie you’ve got a new look. While I loved your playful genderambiguous look before, you look great now. Below are before and after pictures. Before: After: And here is a preview of the…

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The Golden Campuses

Dear Diary, If I could do one thing over again, it would be to go to college again. But this time, instead of just going to one college, I’d go to every single college in America for just one day. College campuses fascinate me because they become design museums of sorts. Most older universities are a collection of beautiful old buildings, starkly modern mid-century buildings, enthrallingly ugly 80s buildings, and 90s buildings (that always look like they are made from Legos). Colleges campus designs are meant to reflect the values of higher education: learning, community, safety, history, romance, and so on….

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