Blog – Page 17 – Orlando Soria

Jul / 20 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Tourlando: My-So Called Neighborhood

Dear Hollywood Hills West, You’re a weird place. Kind of Hollywood. Kind of West Hollywood. Kind of Los Angeles. I moved into this part of town because I wanted to find a place as green as West Hollywood, but without all that appletini-scented-gay-gutter-bar-trash you find in the heart of WeHo (sorry, you know it’s true). Thus, I moved a neighborhood I thought was Hollywood. Only to find out months later that it was really called Hollywood Hills West. What attracted me to this place is that everything is so sprawling and mid-century. We have tons of eco-unfriendly lawns, palm trees…

Jul / 20 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Instagramz #96

Jul / 19 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

My Daddy Mac Needs a Caddy

Dear New MacBook Pro, You are so expensive and fragile. As someone who is also expensive and fragile, I know the feeling. We need special protection. We like to be wrapped in beautiful things that shelter us from the harsh world around us. This is why I am seeking the best laptop case in the world. I want something that is both stylish and allows me to throw my computer across the room without breaking it. Thus far, I have no case and have been clutching my computer to my chest as I navigate the cruel homosexual world that I…

Jul / 17 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

The Colors of Charlie

Dear Matthew Zink, I’m a huge fan of your line of men’s and women’s swimwear. Not only are your pieces well-fitted and glamourous, they also come in a variety of colors that please my eyeballs. I seek out color in all aspects of my life, from the interior of my home, to the art I make, to the clothing I wear. Thus, I was delighted to find a collection of swimwear that so unabashedly incorporates color. Below is a selection of my favorite suits in the very best colors. Vintage Soccer Short, $75 I’m a sucker for pink swim trunks. Nothing…

Jul / 16 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Before & After: Paintingtimez in the Bedroom

Dear Normal Person, What do you like to do for your birthday? Do you like to eat spaghetti with your fiancé, simultaneously slurping on the same noodle until you eventually kiss? Do you like to go to Chuck E Cheese’s with a group of grown ups just to terrify the children and their parents? Do you like eat birthday cake, alone, in the closet? What do I like to do for my birthday, you ask? Well, I like to force my friends to paint my bedroom with me while we drink wine and talk about how a life without art…

Jul / 13 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Are You Staring At My Breads?

Dear Bread Lover, Are you ever canoodling with a fresh loaf of bread, loving it, rubbing it all over your face and then you start to get sad, thinking about the future when that bread is no longer young and fresh the way that you once were? Well, never you fear! I have the perfect use for old bread. Keep reading. I like to make crostini with my soon-to-be-moldy-and-disgusting bread. This way, you’re not wasting food and you have a delightful treat to serve your unexpected guests. Speaking of unexpected guests, I have this fantasy that I live in a…

Jul / 12 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Wallpaper/Dollpaper

Dear Keith Haring, Thank you for the wonderful body of work you left behind in your too-short life. I’ve always been captivated by the playful, graphic nature of your work. This is why I was attracted to the wall stickers inspired by one of your installations. When it came time to add wallpaper (or, rather, Dollpaper) to my dollhouse, I decided to add some Haring flare. Below are the images of the newly papered dining room. I can’t wait to move into my own falling down barn so I can put up the full-size version of this paper. In other…

Jul / 11 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

10 Non Ugly Sectional Sofas

Dear Reader, Do you ever sit up in bed, at a 90 degree angle, late at night, thinking about how much you hate sectional sofas? Me too. They’re often so ugly, annoying, and whale-like. They are the Ursula the Sea Witch of home furnishings. However, sometimes a room really needs a sectional. Usually when it’s too big for just a sofa, but too small for multiple sofas or a sofa and lots of chairs. I have a new client whose living room is, like, begging for a sectional, so I’ve had them on my mind lately. Below are a couple…

Jul / 10 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Turning 30 in the Woods!

Dear Diary, I had a little bit of a hard time turning 30 this year. The thought terrified me, chilling me to my bones. But it’s not what you think. You’re probably thinking I was scared of getting old. That’s not the case at all. I love old people way more than I love young people. What I was really afraid of is the fact that my life had not yet lived up to what I thought it was supposed to as a twentysomething in Los Angeles. To understand why I don’t feel that I’ve lived up to my full potential…

Jun / 29 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Birthday Cake…Not for you, Rihanna

By Contributing Food Editor Jared Levan To All the Cake Lovers, Yes–that was a Kylie reference. It’s been quite a long time since my last post, but in honor of an upcoming Hommemaker birthday (July 5th), I decided Orlando needed a post dedicated entire to cake. There are probably some of you who would prefer something on pie, pastry or pudding…but we’ll get to you and yours another time. For the big 3-0, Orlando has decided on a “rustic/woodland” themed extravaganza. Now you may be asking yourself, what does a rustic/woodland cake look like? That’s a good question. I had…

Jun / 27 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Cover Thine Naked Walls In Stickers.

Dear Empty Walls, Are you ever sitting there all like “Oh my god I’m naked I wish someone would put a sticker on me”? And then you look around and all the wall decals out there are, like, totally gross? Well, I have found a solution to your nakedness. There a few wall stickers out there that will cover you in beauty and glamour. For the most part wall stickers are cheesy and gross and look like they belong in college dorms. But don’t lose hope! A few sophisticated options do exist… Keith Haring Wall Sticker from Blik. $50. I…

Jun / 26 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

All I Want For My Birthday Is Everything.

Dear Friends, Family, and Internet Strangers, In about a week, I am going to turn 30 years old. I’ve been freaking out about a little bit. Not because I am scared of getting older. I’ve always liked older people more than younger people (Young people are idiots, am I right? I’ve always hated them). The main reason for my freak out is that when I was little I thought being 30 meant being a total grown up and I still feel like I have the maturity level of Raven Simone’s beloved namesake on That’s So Raven (unfortunately for me, however,…

Jun / 18 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Californiatimez: Hiking, Cactii, and the Most Amazing Plant Nursery on Earth

Dear Diary, Last weekend, some gays and I decided to escape the madness that is LA Pride and head to the little town of Fillmore, California to take a hike and discover new things. Naturally, because we are 90z gays, we took a Jeep wrangler, with the top down. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced riding in the back of a Jeep Wrangler, but a word to the wise: don’t ride in the back when it’s cold outside. It’s the coldest you’ll ever be in your whole life. I froze to death and it was really sad. But then…

Jun / 13 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Tham & Videgård

Dear Swedish Architecture Firm Tham & Videgård, I discovered you a few weeks back when I was researching tree houses. You made this awesome treehouse: Not only do you design glamourous tree houses, you also design modern, exciting homes for lucky, beautiful rich people. Below are a selection of my favorites. House K This one is pretty minimal, cold, and scary from the outside, but looks modern and delightful from the inside. Nora I’ve always dreamed of living in a little box like this one. Garden House This house is genius because it takes something kinda depressing (lattice), blows up the…

Jun / 8 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Palm Springs Overdose

Dear Reader, When I was a little boy, obese with braces on my teeth, I used to love whipped cream. We never used the canned kind, my mother always whipped it up the real stuff. I loved it until one day when I went overboard. That day I ate a whole entire bowl of whipped cream by myself. I’ve never been so sick in my life. I’m telling you this story not only to let you know that I was a fat kid, but also to provide a warning to you: too much of a good thing is a bad…

Jun / 7 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Orlando’s Obsession: Tiled Fireplaces

Dear Santa, I know you love to come down the chimney on Christmas. But let’s be honest, when you emerge through the fireplace, sometimes it’s a bit of a let down. I mean, how many orangey-red bricks can you look at before you want to gouge out your eyeballs with a candy cane? I have a solution for you, Santa. It’s called tiling your fireplace and you’re going to love it. I’ve been thinking about tiled fireplaces lately because Emily and I have a client who wants to add a feminine touch to her fireplace. Tile is a good way…

Jun / 4 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

D.I.Why? Secret Painting Bulletin Board

Dear You, See this painting? I hope so, it’s right in front of your face. But guess what? It’s not a painting. It’s a bulletin board. Would you like to know how I made it? Me neither. But I’ll tell you anyway. First, I went to the art supply store where scary artist sales associate helped me find canvas. It costs about $7 a yard. I got mine from Dick Blick. I used acrylic paint I had leftover from a previous project. It’s a very pretty color of navy blue. I watered the paint down to give it a tie-dye…

May / 30 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Boffo Show House

Dear Diary, I was delighted to open my email this morning and find some images from the latest Boffo exhibition. Boffo is the culture/arts non-profit started by my close friends Faris and Gregory. Their most recent project is an art/design installation called “Show House” that features the work of dozens art artists and designers, each installed into uninhabited apartments on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. The show is open until June 4. So check it out if you’re in New York. The exhibition space is located at 371 Madison Street and is open from 11 AM to 7 PM…

May / 24 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Think Outside The Box: No Socks

Dear Diary, Apparently there is a totally exciting new trend involving naked male ankles. I had no idea, always running around wearing my nerdy socks pulled up to my knees. Enjoy these glamourous images of shoes with no socks! The juxtaposition of a dressy suit with the casual exclusion of socks is a nice one. I guess it is kind of sexy to see a little skin, even if it’s just the ankle. Love this whole outfit. He looks like a sailor from the high seas, except for with better hygiene and more teeth. Ugh, I so want to be…

May / 23 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

My So-Called Apartment Building

Dear Reader In an old apartment building in Hollywood, not covered in vines, lived twelve little gay guys, in two straight lines. …Well, not really, but you get the picture. I live in this crazy apartment building where a lot of my friends happen to live and as you can imagine, it is filled with titillating gay drama, glamourous rooftop parties, and devious boyfriend stealing. I moved here last year after admiring the building for years. Mainly because it’s the best color ever, mint green, which totally goes with the mid-century style of the building. It was built in 1949…

May / 22 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Tree Houses For Your Spouses

Dear Treehouses, I’ve always wanted to live in one of you. I had no idea how many other people had treehouse fetishes until I started researching the topic. There are some crazyamazing treehouses out there. Here are some of the more exciting ones: This is classic treehouse. It’s rustic and woodsy. Like my soul. This treehouse is all “Forget everything you thought you knew about treehouses, I’m an urban girl!” This one looks like an alien. So does your mom. I love the floor-length window. I’d live in there. This one is so cute and classic, like a little tiny…

May / 21 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

Orlando’s Obsession: Casper Balslev

Dear Photographer and Music Video Cinematographer Casper Balslev, I am obsessed with your cool photographs of Los Angeles and your totally amazing music videos that I could just eat with a spoon. I discovered you when I watched the music video for “This Boys In Love” by the Presets. Upon further investigation I found out you not only shot videos for Marina and the Diamonds and a bunch of other fun bands (videos at the end of this post), you also take beautiful photographs. Please enjoy: And for the music videos, beginning with the one that started it all: [vimeo…

May / 19 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

You Must Buy These Things Or You Will Be Socially Ostracized!

Dear Diary, The sun is shining in beautiful Los Angeles and the summer is upon us. Or at least I think it is. I actually have no idea when the official start of summer is and I don’t feel like googling it. I know the unofficial start is next weekend. Memorial Day Weekend. To get ready for summer, I’ve been slowly stocking up on summer must-haves. And so should you. If you are a girl, just buy these things for your boyfriend. That way no other girls will hit on him because he will look like a mischievous homosexual. Like…

May / 17 / 2012Oct / 12 / 2013

There’s Something Going On In The Bedroom

Dear My Bedroom, I hate you. I’m over you. And I need a change. But for some reason all the bedroom inspiration I’m finding is so feminine. Which is weird because guys like to sleep too. Below are some images of bedrooms I like. Please enjoy them. I love this one. Look how tiny that mirror is? I can’t tell if it’s stupid or amazing. This grey bedding is fun. I think you can get away with dark colors in a sexy, masculine bedroom… Gimme. All of it. The flag, the cute rug, the jacket. Emily designed this one for…