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Dear Bathroom, When I moved into my apartment, the showerbath looked like this: That was ugly, so I put up a white shower curtain. This made the room look much more clean and fresh (I promise. It looked good in real life. This is a terrible photo): But the white curtain was boring, so I replaced it with a shower curtain I stole from my mother’s linen closet. The good thing about my mother is that she hoards sheets, towels, and all sorts of linens. Continuously buying linens gives her a sense that everything is under control and the world…

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Dear Apartment, You know, every once in a while it’s a good idea to freshen things up. Lately I’ve been noticing that every single thing that surrounds me is vintage. Which is great. I love vintage pieces because they are so much more interesting than new, mass manufactured furniture. But I think it’s good to have a balance of old and new so my place doesn’t look like it belongs to a grandpa (not that I have anything against grandpas, I love mine). Thus, I decided to add something new to my living room. Here’s what it looked like before…

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Dear Anjelica Huston, I know you’ve been concerned about my wardrobe lately, so I did a little shopping and here are some of the things I purchased. I was in desperate need of some new shoes so my search started there. I found these delightful Vans on sale for $40 (they’re supposed to be $90). As you my know, I was raised in Yosemite Valley and I’ve never seen a Yosemite shirt this cool. I got this on sale for $15. Apparently I really like Vans, because I bought these too. They were also on sale for $40 (from $80)….

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Dear Benches, You have no idea how handy you are in home decorating? Awkward empty wall? Add a bench! Weird space at the end of the bed? Put a bench on it! Empty space in the bathroom that keeps reminding you how empty your life is? Bench! I think you get the picture. Thus, Emily and I are always looking for benches. Often, we enter stores and flea markets screaming at each other in terror about how there just aren’t enough benches. For some reason flea markets have been dry as a bone when it comes to benches, so I’ve…

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Dear Everyone, Look at these new chairs I found for my apartment at the Long Beach Flea Market! See them and more of my finds in my shopping post on Emily’s Blog today. It will be the most important thing you do in your whole life. Love, Orlando P.S. Here is the link to my shopping wrap-up.

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Dear Diary, If you did a scan of my brain, it would look something like this: Everything in my head is neon and bright and beachy (this is one reason why I love Los Angeles so much). I tend to shy away from using these colors in my apartment because my deepest fear (aside from dying alone, surrounding by cats) is making my apartment look like a gay cartoon rainbow explosion. But I can’t stop fantasizing about having this kind of color in my apartment: Meanwhile, I just painted my walls this color (Benjamin Moore Half Moon Crest). Snore. Oh,…

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Dear Apartment, I’m enjoying you these days after I spent a full 24 hours cleaning you like a crazy person (think Annette Benning in that crazy cleaning scene in “American Beauty” or the crazy mom vacuuming in “Requiem For A Dream). You got really dirty over the last month of New York travel, holiday hoopla, and work craziness. Below are a few of my favorite spots in my apartment. My very favorite place is my bed. Because it’s so comfortable and cozy. This is the view I see every morning. The palm tree outside my window is named “Henry” and…

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Dear Emily, Well it certainly was a fun and exciting holiday season this year. It was the best of times, it was the best of time, but thank goodness it’s over. I mean, REALLY. We have so much to do it’s not even funny. And by “so much to do” I mean so much to buy. One of our clients is really into gold and brass. In fact, Emily and I spent three days in her house going crazy with gold accessories, gold spray paint, and gold leafing. I have a secret desire to paint every single thing in my…

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Dear Nerds, You know how everyone used to make fun of you and call you “Square”? Well, now that being a nerd has been trendy for years, you can just come out and be free and proud to be Square. And you know who else should be proud to be square? Bathtubs. Because what could be more glamorous than a rectangular bathtub (aside from a candlelit dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal where you both suck on the same piece of spaghetti until you accidentally kiss)? A new client wants a glamourous rectangular bathtub, so we’ve been seeking them out. Here’s a…

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