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Deliver Me To Hedi Land

Dear Hedi Slimane, You are my favorite photographer. Everyone knows that. You have a wonderful fashion diary I look at all the time. It brings me great joy. But lately every time I look at one of your photographs they make me want to be an active participant in the awesome world you document because everyone looks so cool and aloof and glamorous. Below is a list of things your photos make me want to do: 1. Sit on the ground and contemplate my feelings. 2. Play a guitar on a diving board whist wearing skinny jeans. 3. Stand with a…

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Where’s My Wallet?

Dear Diary, I lost my wallet last weekend, which was totally annoying and devastating. Not really, but it did get me thinking about wallets. Because as much as I miss my California drivers license and the five different business/personal credit cards, I also miss my Salvatore Ferragamo wallet, a gift I got from a friend a few years ago. They don’t make the particular credit card sleeve I had anymore, so it’s time to move on. Wallets, like watches, eyewear, phones and other items you use every day are the one place I feel comfortable splurging. I believe that if…

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Glamourtimez: The Vanity Fair & Baxter of California Party

Dear Baxter of California, I attended the Vanity Fair/Baxter of California Oscar party last night and had a great time acting like the weirdo from American Beauty who goes around taking video of everything. Do you ever go to a party where you don’t know anyone, thinking to yourself that it’s a great way to meet new people? And then you get there and you’re the only one alone and it makes you realize you should have brought someone? So then you just awkwardly wander around taking pictures whilst eating (delicious) mini-hamburgers? Yeah, that’s pretty much what I did. I’ve…

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The Do’s And Don’ts Of The Gay Gym

Dear Gym Lovers, Did you know there is such thing as a “Gay Gym”? I did. A Gay Gym is like a regular gym except everyone is more attractive, there is a disproportionately male clientele, and there is 57% more body dysmorphia than at your traditional Straight Gym. Gay Gyms are normally located in homosexual neighborhoods in major cities. Two great examples include David Barton Gym in Chelsea in New York and Equinox on Sunset in Los Angeles. These gyms aren’t officially Gay, but the majority of the members are (some just don’t know it yet because I haven’t told…

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What I Wish To Want To Buy

Hi There, Curious what sorts of ugly and/or disgusting stuff I’ve been looking at while shopping? Check out my shopping post on Emily’s Blog. The End, Orlando PS: Read Shopping Post Here.

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Instagramtimez

Dear You, You should follow me on Instagram. It will be totally fun for the whole family. Here is what I have been looking at: This delightful Japanese panel, which now hangs in the bathroom. This amazing vase I saw on a home tour. This smarmy couples-themed cover article in LA Weekly. These überglamourous espresso cups from Rose Bowl Flea Market. Now if only I had an espresso machine… This gorgeous artichoke at Clementine Floral Works at Sunset Junction. This lovely bakery in kindagloomy Salt Lake City. The Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City, where I attended a conference…

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Whut Glamour: Art by Andrew Salgado

Dear Andrew Salgado, A few months ago, I was waddling around a holiday party hosted by Ken Dolls when I stumbled upon one of your brilliant paintings (“It’s Not About Love”) in their living room. I spent the rest of the party scheming how I would fit the painting under my winter coat so I could take it home. Sadly, I left without it. But I was happy to discover your work because I find it completely inspiring. When I see something done in a new way, such as a figure rendered in a way never before seen, it reminds me…

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15 Vintage Gay Couples You Need to See

Dear Gays, With Valentines Day upon us, many of us have couple-hatred on the mind. However, there is one type of couple it’s impossible to hate. Vintage Gay couples. Not only is their style totally unique and exciting, the fact that they were forced to love each other in secret makes these photographs all the more titillating. Sure, there’s no proof that any of these guys are actually couples, but what is the point of looking back on history if you can’t mold it to fit your modern-day agenda? Thus, for the purpose of this post I will be assuming…

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Objects of My Affection

Dear Diary, Over the weekend, I spent a good amount of time doing my favorite thing in the world. Ogling. First, I ogled my boyfriend while he slept (Don’t worry it wasn’t creepy at all [Yes it was {No it wasn’t}]). Then, I ogled the view I have of downtown LA out my bedroom window. Then, I ogled the collection of garbage with which I’ve filled my home, trying desperately to convince myself that it’s all treasure. My man picked up these awesome side tables from Pepe’s. $250 for the pair. Emily bought this for me while we were shooting…

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Vote For My Homie!

Dear Reader, Most days of my life these days are spent working alongside Emily Henderson. We decorate houses. We talk about guys, shopping, and the mall. We write for her blog, stylebyemilyhenderson.com, which just underwent a totally glamorous makeover. We also do the following: 1. Laugh whilst drinking lattes. 2. Pose with our daughter, Bonnie Sue. 3. Stare out the window, looking for peeping Toms. All photos by Kimberly Genevieve for The Everygirl. (Yes, I was in a publication called The Everygirl. [I’m every woman/It’s all in me]). So what does this have to do with you, you ask? Everything. Emily’s blog is up…

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The Best T-Shirt In The World

Dear LAEX, Yesterday I went to the flea market with my boyfriend and a couple friends. I wore a hoodie, jeans, and my favorite new shirt from LAEX. When it got warm and I took off my hoodie to reveal the t-shirt underneath, everyone looked at me in disgust and worry. “Didn’t you wear that shirt last night? And the night before?” Yes. Yes I did. I can’t seem to take off this white t-shirt. It’s everything I want to be. It’s soft and drapey and comfortable. My inspiration for wearing simple white shirts comes from my obsession with 1950s…

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Whut Glamour: Art by John Monn

Dear John Monn, I love your beautiful art. It’s filled with texture, color, and an undercurrent of unease. Read your artist statement here: I am exploring the differences between the hunter and hunted, and ultimately, what is sacred and what is disposable in our society. In this latest series in my body of work I am attempting to navigate a path for viewers to look back to simpler times. Maybe some illumination of the present can be found along the way. Drawing has always been the immediate way I make art. Years of pointillism, with slow deliberate accumulation of detail,…

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Why Everyone Hates Couples

Dear Couples, The other day I looked at my boyfriend and asked him what he wanted to do for Valentines Day. “Nothing, I’m not big into Valentines Day,” he replied. At which point I burst into tears and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me. Just kidding. No I didn’t. Because I also hate Valentines Day. Because I have been single for my whole life, this holiday conjures up images of me sitting alone on my bed watching The Great Mouse Detective and drinking Diet Coke out of a liter container, thinking about the fact that if…

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Leathertimez: Ten Jackets I Wish To Want

Dear Marlon Brando and James Dean, You two were the first dudes to successfully rock leather jackets. As hunky movie stars of the golden age of Hollywood, you knew the leather jacket was the must-have clothing article. Here is Marlon in what is perhaps the most adorable outfit a man ever wore: And nobody beats James in these luxe leather jackets: I know smoking is bad, but he makes it look so cool. Because it is kind of like the desert, Los Angeles gets chilly at night, even on sunny summer days. Thus, I have been fantasizing about buying a new…

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Ten Things You Will See At A Gay Super Bowl Party

Dear People Who Grew Up Watching The Super Bowl, I didn’t. I’d actually never seen the Super Bowl until I moved to Los Angeles. Arguably, I still have never watched one because I never pay attention. The only thing I remember about last year’s Super Bowl is that Chevy commercial with “We Are Young” by Fun. Remember when that song was new last year? Before it had been played so much that every time it came on the radio you wanted to transport yourself into medieval times just so you could find a sword long enough to stick in your…

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Top Ten Gay Houses To Live In Before You Die

Dear Boy Scouts of America, Remember that one time you banned gays from your organization, even though like half of everyone that was ever a Boy Scout is gay? Think about it, anyone who wants to run around in the woods, make crafts (pinewood derby anyone?), wear tiny navy blue shorts, and do role playing games where you pretend to be Paul Bunyon is probably a homosexual. As a former Scout myself, I was offended when you decided to make the ban on gays official. As a Boyscout, you learn to be resourceful, inventive, and to make a tent out…

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Be Still My Art

Dear Santa Monica, I resent you. Not because you’re not appealing and I don’t appreciate your pretty coastal views and your superior coffee shops. But mostly because you’re so far away. When someone moves West from the central part of Los Angeles (West Hollywood, Hollywood, Los Feliz, Silverlake, etc), we all pretty much say goodbye to them. People who live on the West Side are pretty much dead to everyone else. This is why I found it so hard to work up the motivation to drive all the way to Santa Monica on Sunday to enjoy the Art Los Angeles…

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That One Time I Almost Single White Female’d My Client

Dear Diary, Remember that movie Single White Female? Where Bridget Fonda was all “Hay I’m Bridget Fonda I’m pretty and Jane Fonda is my auntie” and then Jennifer Jason Leigh is all “Hay Bridget Fonda I want to steal your boyfriend and stab you with a high heel.” I saw that movie when I was ten and it enriched my life forever. It’s just so good. Pretty girls running around an apartment trying to escape being murdered by high heels? It reminds me of a typical Saturday in West Hollywood. Anyway, I’ve been feeling pretty Single White Femaley recently, upon…

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Some Drawings That Came Out of the Closet

Dear Diary, I have these neighbors that live upstairs and sometimes my boyfriend and I sneak up to their deck to water their plants, luxuriate in the sun, and pretend we live there (they live in the penthouse right above us so this is very convenient). Yesterday, after a major succulent repotting session, we wandered into their apartment (invited in, sort of) and snooped around in their closets. I’m not a nosy person. Actually, scratch that, yes I am and I love looking at other people’s closets. This particular closet snoop was particularly fruitful because I found a bag filled…

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Five Things I Need For My Extreme Makeover: Homme Edition

Dear Helen Frankenthaler, Remember when you sat in this room full of your paintings and it was like ‘Oh, my god’? Me neither, but this image shows me everything I’ve ever wanted in a living space: giant art, the color blue, and girl wearing a hairband. Because it is the dead of winter and we just did all that New Years resoluting, I have change on my mind. Which means that it’s time to maniacally makeover my apartment. I lucked out with my glamourous gay Melrose Place apartment building, but there are a few little things missing from my living…

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Orlando’s Obsession: Vintage Interview Magazines

Dear Andy Warhol, I have been obsessed with you since I read your Diaries when I was 14. I started reading your Interview Magazine around the same time. This magazine epitomized (and still does) everything glamorous about living in New York: fashion, music, art, and the bohemian lifestyle of the city’s creative community. I still subscribe to Interview after all theses years (yes, I still read magazines made out of paper) and receiving it always makes me happy. While the new issues of Interview are always great, I’ve developed a passion for the vintage ones. This passion began a few years…

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New Years Resolutions Every Gay Should Live By

Dear Gays, Are you, like me, still hungover from celebrating New Years? Did you mean to have tons of resolutions this year, but now you’re too braindead and irritated to think of any? Well you’re in luck, because I’ve taken the liberty of thinking of some resolutions for you. Living by these rules will bring you much success (and a man!) in 2013. I promise. 1. Go on a weird diet that freaks everyone out. Whatever your body composition is, why not change it up for 2013? If, like me, you went a little crazy with eating and drinking during…

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