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Fashiontimez: Olasul

Dear Olasul, I was browsing your site recently, and I couldn’t help but be blown away by your beautiful lookbook. The bright colors, the tropical landscapes, the skinny surfer dudes. Such glamour. If I could live in any world, it would be this one, where the weather is always inviting, the water is always warm, everyone knows how to skateboard/surf, and there are always tons of amazing swimwear options. YAY! I want this sweatshirt. What gorgeous color! And yes, I’m talking about his tan (jealz). I like this guy’s bangs. Isn’t it weird how he looks super cool on the…

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week: Cream Cheese

“So I kept piling it on, scoop after scoop, until my bagel weighed, like, a pound. And then I realized it wasn’t cream cheese. It was butter! I ate it anyway.” – Joan Didion * Joan Didion never said this (I did). 

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I Regret My Life Before Austra

Dear Austra, I have so many regrets in my life, but what I regret most is not hearing your music until yesterday. It’s so good it makes me want to jump on a trampoline whilst wearing an Austra tee-shirt, Austra cut-off jeans, and Austra face paint. I especially love the music video for “Lose It,” which is completely ridiculous and reminds me of a typical Saturday night in the life of Orlando Soria. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LJtMrhb558&ob=av2e] Anyway, keep up the good work! I can’t wait to find you and trap you in a cage and force you to sing for me at…

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Collecting: My Parents’ House

Dear My Mom, During this glorious visit to Yosemite, I have been enjoying ogling all the tiny items you’ve collected over the years. I admit to thinking some of them were cheesy in the past, but now that I’ve entered into a world of object-seeking, I’ve gained a new appreciation for the nuance of your collection of artworks and objects from around the world. Let’s get started with your crazy sheep collection. Who could resist these cuties? I’ve always loved this old tansu that grandma got while you guys were living in Japan (sidenote to readers: my mother spent her…

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Homme Cooking: Food in Bowls

Dear Diary, I don’t know why more meals aren’t served from bowls. Really, eating things out of bowls is so much more comforting than on a cold, commonplace plate. Last summer I discovered beanbowls. I know this sounds like hobo-food, but if you use the right (fresh) ingredients this can be a delectable dish. Recipe (serves 1, multiply by number of guests): 1 cup cooked quinoa 1 cup freshly cooked pinto beans 1 cup freshly cooked black-eyed peas 1/4 cup grated cheese (Monterey jack or mozzarella) 1 1/2 cups heirloom tomato, chopped 1/2 avocado, thinly sliced cilantro, sprinkle as garnish…

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Whut Glamour: Salon Walls

Dear Diary, The other day I was perusing Apartment Therapy when I came across something so delightful that it filled me with desire, jealousy, and bitterness. It was this photograph of a home in Hollywood: The home is owned by these three hunks: Seeing their awesome salon style living room made me want an entire salon style house. For those of you not familiar with salon style galleries, this is where artwork is hung all the way to the ceiling, in order to fit the most art possible into a space. Graduates of art school are familiar with this style…

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Californiatimez: Yosemite, Childhood, and Posters

Dear Self (Age 16), Right now, being that you’re 16, you’re probably sitting in your room reading “The Andy Warhol Diaries” whilst counting the days until you can move to New York to become a high-powered lawyer. As you know, Self, I grew up in Yosemite National Park, and totally didn’t appreciate it until I was older (approximately last month). When you grow up with Yosemite Falls visible from your bedroom window, the last thing you care about is nature. Fast forward to now. After a whirlwind year of shooting a TV show and attending fancypants Hollywood parties with the…

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Whut Glamour: Amy Winehouse by Hedi Slimane

Dear Amy Winehouse, I’m always weirded out when I get sad that a celebrity has died. It’s not like I knew you or anything. I guess what I found so disturbing was the absolute waste of it all. Someone with such an incredible gift who threw it all away for reasons I don’t fully understand. You died and that sucks for everyone, but I just came across these beautiful images taken of you by Hedi Slimane: Just more evidence that you went too soon. RIP, Amy. Love, Orlando

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Glamourtimez: Green Street Tavern

Dear Green Street Tavern, Emily and I have a tradition that we visit you after every Rose Bowl Flea Market. Or any other time we are shopping in Pasadena (which is surprisingly frequent – Pasadena is home to a ton of awesome vintage stores). We love this restaurant because it is quite and secluded (unless it’s Mother’s Day, in which case BEWARE). Recently I noticed how awesome your banquet room is. I love the beautiful curved walls covered in illuminated patterns. Someday, when I’m a respectable homeowner, I’ll do something glamorous and warm like this: Well done and totally gorgeous….

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week: What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?

“…So I said to him ‘Would you like it if I interrupted YOU for an autograph whilst YOU were enjoying a Klondike bar on a hot disgusting afternoon?’ And then he left crying. It was a hoot!”  – Joan Didion* * There is no “evidence” that Joan Didion ever actually said this.       

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Images I Love: Gregor Wynnyczuk

Dear Gregor Wynnyczuk, Emily and I have been finding a lot of vintage landscape paintings at flea markets to use for the show. Every time I see them I think of the work you included in a Boffo exhibition I was in a few years ago. You give these old paintings voices. Funny ones. Your work is witty and thought-provoking. Thanks for making it! Love, Orlando

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5 Haute Things for the Homme: Striped Duvet Covers

Dear Diary, This week, Emily and I are busy prepping for a bedroom makeover next week. It’s for the adorable April Bowlby, for those of you “Drop Dead Diva” fans out there. All this bedroom researching has me thinking about my own bedroom (I’m in desperate need of a new duvet cover). It’s hard t find bedding that is masculine enough for a dude’s apartment. Most of it is all flowery and obnoxious. Thus, I tend to fall back on stripes. Anyone who knows me knows I love stripes. While simple, stripes are so beautiful: Now, onto the the duvet covers I…

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LA Street Art: Buff Monster

Dear Buff Monster, I like the gross/delightful ice cream art you plastered outside my gym. It makes me happy every time I see it: Love, Orlando

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Haute Thing: Table Calendar

Dear CB2, I’m totally a sucker for adorable little calendars that I can put on my desk and then forget to update. Thus, I was totally excited when I found this piece the other day whilst shopping for this week’s episode of SFAS. I’m going to stick this on my desk and just pretend it’s my birthday every day, leaving the calendar stuck on July 5. Love, Orlando

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Summer by Slimane

Dear My Favorite Photographer Hedi Slimane, I’m digging your take on summer in Southern California. It kind of makes me want to be a 19-year-old strung-out skateboarder-surfer who drives a classic car and sleeps on the beach. One can dream… Love, Orlando PS: For more Hedi images, go here.

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Homme Videos: The Hidden Camera’s “Underage”

Dear The Hidden Cameras, I recently discovered your video for “Underage” and I like it. Even though it kind of reminds me of that scene in “Mean Girls” where the art freaks put meat on their faces and make funny noises. The song is super fun though, and I’m into the face paint. Yay! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuSQ_1kUieg] Love, Orlando

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The Anatomy of a Gay Pool Party

Dear Straight People, I was walking down the street the other day, thinking about how commonplace Gay Pool Parties are on hot summer weekends in Los Angeles, when I realized that there were probably people in the world that had never attended a Gay Pool Party. Thus, I’ve decided to write a shocking exposé on the world of gay pool parties. All the deepest, darkest secrets (from a stylist) will be revealed. Here we  go: 1. The first thing to know about Gay Pool Parties is that they are all sponsored by a high end alcohol brand. I imagine this is…

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D.I. Why??? How To Make Your Bulletin Boards Less Bulletin Boardy

Dear Bulletin Boards, I really like you, but I hate the way that corkboard looks. Thus, I like to cover my bulletin boards with newspaper, paint, or anything to distract from the cork. When a bulletin board is blank, it’s like a scary canvas I don’t know how to get started on. When there is already some paper, paint, or anything collaged over the cork, I feel more free to tack up whatever I like, which is normally postcards from art openings and $100 bills. Here is what I did to make my bulletin boards prettier: This was the bulletin…

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Homme Videos: Jeffery Self

Dear Jeffery Self, You’re hilarious. I love your new “Eirik” videos. Check them out! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaYEXDthtDM&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOu1PES8hlo&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9odt4qP-D3s&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV5e_OEFF-c&NR=1] Love, Orlando

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Cinespia, Sweaters, and Sweethearts

Dear Los Angeles, My two favorite things about you in the summer are: 1. The Hollywood Bowl and 2. Cinespia (AKA cemetery screenings). I found out about the screenings at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery just after moving to LA and it was love at first sight. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of attending a Cinespia screening, it’s a series of films shown in the cemetery throughout the summer. All the films are good ones (Last week was Harold and Maude and I had to miss it. So sad). People bring wine and food and picnic while…

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Whut Glamour: San Francisco

Dear San Francisco, From your pretty airport to your glamourous fire department, you are the most beautiful city on earth. I was up here last weekend for a (gender inclusive) baby shower and this weekend for a wedding. Since I’ve been coming here my whole life, being here is like being at home. Here are a few of the pictures I’ve taken in recent days: Love, Orlando

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LA Street Art: Destroy All Design

Dear LA Street Artists/Sticker Enthusiasts, For some reason there’s tons of street art all over Los Angeles and I always find it a delightful surprise to come across a new piece. Recently, I saw this piece across the street from my (soon to be adorable) apartment: Love, Orlando

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Whut Glamour: HRC Benefit Sale & Auction

Dear HRC, Thanks for hosting that glamorous auction/sale at LDC Home the other night. It was an honor to have my paintings shown alongside all the beautiful works selected for the exhibition. The night was filled with snobby designers, gay hotties, and a luxurious supply of appetizers and cocktails. Here are some of the things I saw: This installation of great antique pieces by Adam Straus served as the entry to the event. Who doesn’t love horse art? This collection of small drawings was by far my favorite piece in the show. I found out later it was done by…

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Why ‘The Shining’ Is The Scariest Movie Ever (Hint: It Has Something To Do With Interior Design).

Dear Stanley Kubrick, I went to a screening of your film The Shining at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery recently and it scared me. A lot. I’ve seen the movie a million times but it remains at the top of my list of scary movies. I think the main reason it scares me so much is that I grew up playing in a hotel just like the one in the film. The Ahwahnee Hotel (located in my hometown Yosemite National Park) served as the inspiration for many of the film’s interiors. Because I lived in the woods and there was little to do…

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