Blog – Page 100 – Orlando Soria

Feb / 18 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Five Haute Things for the Homme: Sleeper Sofas!

Dear New Gross Apartment I Just Signed For Yesterday, I saw you, you were disgusting, but I saw potential. I just signed a lease for an apartment at the base of the Hollywood Hills, two blocks north of the West Hollywood border. It’s right off Laurel Canyon, the longtime home of one of my heros, Joni Mitchell. To make a long story short, it’s a one bedroom (makeover story forthcoming) and I plan to use the living room as a guest bedroom when I have friends visiting from New York and the northern wilds of California, our great Golden State….

Feb / 17 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Hollywood Diary: V-Day Party!

Dear Diary, This past Saturday I had the immense pleasure of going to the funnest party in the history of time. It was a Valentines party called “Cupid’s Stupid” thrown by a 20-year-old Ken doll millionaire named GT Dave who played, like, a hugely instrumental role in the popularization of kombucha (a fermented tea drink with crazy health benefits…Read an article about it here). This is what GT Dave looks like (swewn): Here is the view from GT’s enormous Beverly Hills house: I never like taking pictures of crowds at parties because no matter what you do they end up…

Feb / 11 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Homme Sweet Homme: Brad Goreski!

Dear Brad, I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I already did and then I saw this picture of you clad in 100% Levi’s. You are awesome, gorgeous, and one of my top style icons. Heartbeatz. Love, Orlando

Feb / 11 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Pooltimez

Dear The Owner of Coffee Bean, I am sitting in your West Hollywood location and it is ridiculously hot in here. And you wanna know what I think of when I’m hot, sweaty, and miserable? Pools! You know what else is hot? Global warming! Thus, I was excited to find this project done by a banking corporation to raise awareness about global warming. They printed large images of New York and applied them to the bottom of a pool, indicating that if we don’t do something to stop global warming we are all going to have to live underwater (just…

Feb / 11 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Fake Joan Didion Quote of The Week!

“Have you seen the Bieber documentary yet?” – Joan Didion* *Joan Didion never said this. Ever.

Feb / 11 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Shhhh! ‘Secrets’ is Airing Soon!

Dear Emily, My new favorite thing is shushing people. Mainly because I think it’s so rude that it becomes ridiculous and thus hilarious. Like who thinks it’s ever appropriate to shush another person? Weirdos. Anyway, I’ll be doing some legitimate shushing on February 26th at 9 PM when “Secrets From A Stylist” airs on HGTV. It’s weird to work on a TV show like this because it’s so intense, involved, and client-based that sometimes it’s easy to forget we are actually making a television show that people will watch (please?). I’m sure you’re all imagining that Emily shows up and…

Feb / 10 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Gladvertising: Sweet N Low!

Dear New York Creative Agency Mother, The new ads you made for Sweet N Low are totally rad. I was driving up Western Avenue a few days ago and noticed your work in a bus shelter. I was immediately struck by how fun, inventive, and adorable they were. I’m not particularly a fan of Sweet N Low, but I love the fact that this pretty artwork is being displayed all over the place because of their product. Everyone wins! Love, Orlando

Feb / 10 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Hot Couture: Aprontimez!

Dear Dsquared² Twins, In college, I had to wear an apron in painting class in order to protect my obnoxiously overpriced clothing (this was before I graduated and became a hobo). Thus, I cannot tell you how absolutely pleased I was to see that your new collection includes tons of aprons layered into totally crazy outfits (sidenote: what’s going on with layers? It seems like every collection is all about 45 layers for each look. That’s fine in cold places but in LA we can only stand to put on two layers max, and that’s on a cold day). The…

Feb / 10 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Five Haute Things: Headphones!

Dear Music Loverz, You know what’s cooler than being an actual cool person? Looking like one because you are wearing totally fun headphones! I have always had a thing for humans who wear unnecessarily large headphones, especially ones in kookie colors. I don’t really understand how people wear these bulky headphones while working out (I mean, they’re pretty much earmuffs, don’t they get hot?). The following are the five headphones I’d buy if I was forced to run out and get some right now. Enjoy! Banjo by WeSC I like how basic and streamlined these are. I’d definitely wear these…

Feb / 10 / 2011Mar / 6 / 2013

The ‘No Ingredient’ Diet

Dear Weight-loss Enthusiasts and/or Control Freaks, People often ask me “Orlando! How do you stay so thin while working such long hours?” Actually, no one has ever asked me that, but I fantasize about it every day. In fact, if you see in the street will you please ask me that? My self-esteem depends on it. But for realz, I’ve learned the hard way that working on film and TV sets is probably the worst thing you can do if you’re trying to avoid turning into Ursula The Sea Witch from “The Little Mermaid.” The hours are long leaving little…

Feb / 8 / 2011Mar / 6 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Michelle Obama

Dear Michelle Obama, I forgot how totally cute you were until I just saw this picture in the NYT. I love your dress and the fact that you are standing in front of giant fruit. You are awesome. Love, Orlando PS: Here is a link to the article.

Feb / 2 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

If You Like It Then You Should Have Put A Bird On It

Dear Whitney Jefferson, Fred Armisen, and Carrie Brownstein, I love your hilarious video docu-drama about the proliferation of birds on EVERYTHING. I thought that trend was dying until I went to CB2 last night and was confronted by bird, after bird, after bird, after bird. I actually like the bird trend, but sometimes too much of a good thing = a bad thing. Sadtimez. Love, Orlando [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XM3vWJmpfo]

Feb / 1 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Typoglamour: 1550

Dear Whoever Designed the Building at 1550 North Laurel, I have a thing for pretty text and/or numbers on buildings. Thus, I love your monolithic, minimalist apartment building down the street from my current abode. Oversized 1950s typefaces really hit the spot and are so appropriate on a building of that style. Gorgeous. Love, Orlando

Feb / 1 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Used Books!

Dear Diary, I epiphanied last night that I have a fetish for first editions used books, ordered from Powell’s in Portland. This obsession began lightly a few years ago and was cemented last year when I received a first edition of my favorite novel of all time, Gore Vidal’s The City and the Pillar. What’s so important about the first edition of City is that Vidal rewrote the 1948 novel in the 60s and completely changed the ending. In my opinion the original version is much more authentic and a lot less clever and calculated than the rewritten version. Two…

Jan / 31 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Homme Movies: True Grit

Dear True Grit, You are a good movie. I enjoyed watching you. The other evening, my beautiful friend ActorWriter Brian asked me if I wanted to see you, and I was like “Not really.” But I changed my mind (out of sheer desperation to see a movie) and we went with our pretty friend NotQuiteSureWhatHeDoes Jonny, who left halfway through the film because he got, like, totally bored. The plot of the film is as follows (spoiler alert: I give away the ending!): 1. Someone kills Hailee Steinfeld’s dad. 2. She enlists the help of Cartoon-Texan Matt Damon and Gurgle-Voice…

Jan / 31 / 2011Oct / 12 / 2013

Homme Sweet Homme: Trovata

Dear Model, I like your hooded jacket by Trovata. And your face. You look like you’re made of wax. Love, Orlando