The Anatomy of a Gay Pool Party

Dear Straight People, I was walking down the street the other day, thinking about how commonplace Gay Pool Parties are on hot summer weekends in Los Angeles, when I realized that there were probably people in the world that had never attended a Gay Pool Party. Thus, I’ve decided to write a shocking exposé on the world of gay pool parties. All the deepest, darkest secrets (from a stylist) will be revealed. Here we  go: 1. The first thing to know about Gay Pool Parties is that they are all sponsored by a high end alcohol brand. I imagine this is…

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D.I. Why??? How To Make Your Bulletin Boards Less Bulletin Boardy

Dear Bulletin Boards, I really like you, but I hate the way that corkboard looks. Thus, I like to cover my bulletin boards with newspaper, paint, or anything to distract from the cork. When a bulletin board is blank, it’s like a scary canvas I don’t know how to get started on. When there is already some paper, paint, or anything collaged over the cork, I feel more free to tack up whatever I like, which is normally postcards from art openings and $100 bills. Here is what I did to make my bulletin boards prettier: This was the bulletin…

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Homme Videos: Jeffery Self

Dear Jeffery Self, You’re hilarious. I love your new “Eirik” videos. Check them out! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaYEXDthtDM&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOu1PES8hlo&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9odt4qP-D3s&feature=related] [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV5e_OEFF-c&NR=1] Love, Orlando

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Cinespia, Sweaters, and Sweethearts

Dear Los Angeles, My two favorite things about you in the summer are: 1. The Hollywood Bowl and 2. Cinespia (AKA cemetery screenings). I found out about the screenings at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery just after moving to LA and it was love at first sight. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of attending a Cinespia screening, it’s a series of films shown in the cemetery throughout the summer. All the films are good ones (Last week was Harold and Maude and I had to miss it. So sad). People bring wine and food and picnic while…

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Whut Glamour: San Francisco

Dear San Francisco, From your pretty airport to your glamourous fire department, you are the most beautiful city on earth. I was up here last weekend for a (gender inclusive) baby shower and this weekend for a wedding. Since I’ve been coming here my whole life, being here is like being at home. Here are a few of the pictures I’ve taken in recent days: Love, Orlando

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LA Street Art: Destroy All Design

Dear LA Street Artists/Sticker Enthusiasts, For some reason there’s tons of street art all over Los Angeles and I always find it a delightful surprise to come across a new piece. Recently, I saw this piece across the street from my (soon to be adorable) apartment: Love, Orlando

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Whut Glamour: HRC Benefit Sale & Auction

Dear HRC, Thanks for hosting that glamorous auction/sale at LDC Home the other night. It was an honor to have my paintings shown alongside all the beautiful works selected for the exhibition. The night was filled with snobby designers, gay hotties, and a luxurious supply of appetizers and cocktails. Here are some of the things I saw: This installation of great antique pieces by Adam Straus served as the entry to the event. Who doesn’t love horse art? This collection of small drawings was by far my favorite piece in the show. I found out later it was done by…

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Why ‘The Shining’ Is The Scariest Movie Ever (Hint: It Has Something To Do With Interior Design).

Dear Stanley Kubrick, I went to a screening of your film The Shining at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery recently and it scared me. A lot. I’ve seen the movie a million times but it remains at the top of my list of scary movies. I think the main reason it scares me so much is that I grew up playing in a hotel just like the one in the film. The Ahwahnee Hotel (located in my hometown Yosemite National Park) served as the inspiration for many of the film’s interiors. Because I lived in the woods and there was little to do…

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Fashiontimez: YSL Shoe Video

Dear Diary, Check out this completely gorgeous video made to advertise the Yves Saint Laurent 2011 Spring/Summer Sneaker Collection. It kind of makes me want to be a shirtless 20-year-old boy with -3% body fat. Famished glamour. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tDHubufUQU] Love, Orlando

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Do It Yourself: Shadowbox Artwork

Dear Mr. Chris (My Colleague From SFAS), You’re awesome, you can make anything, and that’s why we’re friends. You recently made this fun shadowbox for a recent episode and it turned out, like, totally cool. Here’s how you make it: 1. Make a frame using 1″ x 2″ pine. Nail or screw together using wood glue. 2. Cut two pieces of plywood, one the size of the artwork to be mounted the other 16″ larger in both directions so that there is space around the image. This will leave an 8″ border on all sides (you can choose whatever border…

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Glamourtimez: The Melrose Project

Dear Matthew Lanphier, Thank you for inviting Emily and me to that glamourous opening at The Melrose Project over the weekend. The evening was filled with delightful designers, inspirational interiors, and ample appetizers. I especially liked all the great ideas I got from wandering around. Nothing better than a lovely design-filled night, a nice glass of wine on a spring evening, and the company of my talented friends. The event was in honor of the current exhibition of furniture, art, and objects at The Melrose Project. My favorite piece was this “Heaven” light sculpture. It was a fun treat when…

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Fake Joan Didion Quote of the Week: Merry Maid!

“I looked in the pantry and there wasn’t any peanut butter. So I fired the maid! And then we laughed and laughed and laughed together because it was such a ridiculous reason for someone to lose her job. But I fired her anyway.” – Joan Didion * Joan Didion never said this. But she has probably fired a housekeeper for a dumb reason at some point in her life.

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Los Angeles Living: Rooseveltimez!

Dear The Roosevelt Hotel, I just love coming to your hotel, especially now that it’s getting warm outside and I can sit outside, luxuriating in the sun, drinking mojitos whilst staring a celebrities and glamourous European tourists. I took these pictures there the other day, while I was having a Sunday Funday. The afternoon turned from romantic and golden to mysterious and neon. Lovely. The pool always makes me think of David Hockney. I love ye, Roosevelt. Love, Orlando

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Fleamarketing With Emily: Long Beach!

Dear Diary, Emily and I headed out to Long Beach on Sunday to revel in all the flea covered glory of the Long Beach Antique and Collectible Market (AKA the flea). Usually Long Beach is good but this week was especially amazing. Unlike Rose Bowl, where prices are generally higher, Long Beach was full of deals. For the second week in a row it was raining, but to be honest I love that kind of weather because it keeps it from getting to hot while we’re running around buying EVERYTHING (which we did). Here’s what we found: This fun horse…

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Homme Videos: My Name Is Trouble

Dear Karen Ann, I love this music video you made, complete with luxurious fashion and dancing boys. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-0Qx8HwlW4] Love, Orlando

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Homme Videos: Patrick Wolf!

Dear Patrick Wolf, I’ve been following you since 2004, when I worked at the PR company that used to represent you. I just found out that you came out with a new single, “The City.” This it the music video for that new song: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hBJIbSScBM] I love the new song, mainly because of your flexible voice but also because of the awesome 80z saxafone and the catchy beats. I was slightly disappointed, however, in your styling. I miss the Raggedy Andy orange hair from your “Magic Position” video, accompanied by all that delightful glitter pirate clothing. Check it out here: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFI9s6INJPQ]…

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Flea Marketing With Emily: Pasadena Rose Bowl!

Dear Reader, This past Sunday was the mother of all flea markets, Rose Bowl. It started out a little rocky because I went out the night before until 2 AM and then woke up at 5:45 to rush over to Pasadena only to find out it was rainy and gross. Sidenote: I love how devastating it is when it rains in LA. First of all, no one ever expects it to happen so we have no idea what to do. “What is this strange wet substance falling from the heavens?” we all asked each other, bewildered that something so inconvenient…

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Homme Videos: LA Timelapse

Dear Andrew Walker, I forgot how obsessed I was with your LA/Yosemite/Rural California timelapse video. Mainly because it shows A) My hometown [Yosemite National Park] and B) The city I in which I live and love [Los Angeles]. The video is truly gorgeous. Love, Orlando [vimeo http://vimeo.com/12578735]

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