Diesel, I Will Always Love You Even Though You Ripped Off Levi’s

Dear People Who Grew Up In A Normal Place, You know, often when people ask me what it was like growing up in a National Park (Yosemite), they say things like “Were you raised by wolves? Did you live in a teepee? Are your parents forest rangers?” Unfortunately, the answers to those questions are “No,” “Kind of,” and “Almost.” I did, however, grow up in a “rustic”  cabin in the middle of the woods right next to a huge waterfall. And you’d probably imagine I was running around wearing overalls whilst biting on a piece of straw all the time….

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The Rose Bowl: My Heart Will Go On And On!

Dear Kate Winslet, Remember that scene in Titanic where you and Leonardo Dicaprio are so cold that you look like this? Yeah, me neither. It’s been ages since I saw that movie. But the above picture describes perfectly how cold Emily and I were when we showed up to Rose Bowl on Sunday at 5:45 AM. I was pretty much wearing a speedo and a backpack and my teeth were chattering (I think I need to hire someone to dress me in the morning, I’m a total idiot). Emily was dressed more sensibly, but by the end of the morning…

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I Am A Teenage Girl From Japan Who Likes Weird Things

Dear Diary, Like many teenage girls in Japan, I love all things graphic, bright, and cartoony. Yesterday, I went on a crazy shopping spree at Target and was reminded how much I like cartoon-inspired objects. In particular, I was struck by a mug in the shape of a whale (which happened to be in my favorite color aqua). It titillated me because I find it both revolting and completely necessary. At first I thought it was too cheesy and disgusting to buy, but then I thought to myself that if I saw it at Cerealart, I’d totally want it. This…

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I’m Seriously Sweating These Seven Sweaters

Dear Los Angeles, How do I love thee, let me count the ways… Except I have a bone to pick with you. Why is it 85 degrees in January? Here I am sweating in my apartment, trying to come up with design plans and all I want to do is wear a sweater and maybe see a raindrop or two. I know this whining is probably totally annoying to anyone reading this in a cold place, sitting in front of their computers shivering like the Little Match Girl, but I really wouldn’t mind a few more months of wintry weather…

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Around The Apartment

Dear Apartment, I’m enjoying you these days after I spent a full 24 hours cleaning you like a crazy person (think Annette Benning in that crazy cleaning scene in “American Beauty” or the crazy mom vacuuming in “Requiem For A Dream). You got really dirty over the last month of New York travel, holiday hoopla, and work craziness. Below are a few of my favorite spots in my apartment. My very favorite place is my bed. Because it’s so comfortable and cozy. This is the view I see every morning. The palm tree outside my window is named “Henry” and…

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Shopping With Emily: Get Your Hand Off My Brass!

Dear Emily, Well it certainly was a fun and exciting holiday season this year. It was the best of times, it was the best of time, but thank goodness it’s over. I mean, REALLY. We have so much to do it’s not even funny. And by “so much to do” I mean so much to buy. One of our clients is really into gold and brass. In fact, Emily and I spent three days in her house going crazy with gold accessories, gold spray paint, and gold leafing. I have a secret desire to paint every single thing in my…

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Meet The New Hommemaker / Jared Levan

Dear Readers, I’ve decided it’s time to have a guest blogger on from time to time to fill out areas of Hommemaking I don’t necessarily specialize in. One of those areas is food. I love good food and cooking, but I have so many other interests that I just don’t have any time to think about the culinary arts enough to write about them. However, I consider food to be one of the most important aspects of Hommemaking. I found someone WAY better than me to write about glamourfoods, glamourdrinks, and glamour dinner party ideas. His name is Jared Levan….

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Don’t Be A Square! (Unless You’re A Bathtub)

Dear Nerds, You know how everyone used to make fun of you and call you “Square”? Well, now that being a nerd has been trendy for years, you can just come out and be free and proud to be Square. And you know who else should be proud to be square? Bathtubs. Because what could be more glamorous than a rectangular bathtub (aside from a candlelit dinner with Jake Gyllenhaal where you both suck on the same piece of spaghetti until you accidentally kiss)? A new client wants a glamourous rectangular bathtub, so we’ve been seeking them out. Here’s a…

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Homme Sweet Homme | Jeramiah Brent

Dear Jeramiah Brent, This one time, it was the holidays (a time for too many parties), and I kept seeing this really Hot Blond Guy at all these glamourous fêtes. Then one day I was at the gym, running and watching “Rachel Zoe,” and I was like “Oh my god, Hot Blond Guy is the dude from Rachel Zoe!” Which is kind of the annoying part of living in Los Angeles. You see someone attractive and you’re like “Wow! That dude is hot!” and then you realize it’s, like, Orlando Bloom or Jake Gyllenhaal or something and you feel stupid. Anyway,…

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RIP : Hommegirl Helen Frankenthaler

Dear Judith Bernstock, You were one of my favorite Art History professors at Cornell. Mainly because until I took your class, all the art history I’d studied consisted of staring at Greek vases and memorizing their date and place of origin. Art history, while fascinating and necessary, can be totally boring. How many flashcards can one look at before he goes totally berserk? I have fond memories of  taking Art History 360: FDR to Reagan, where we got to study modern art. One key figure in this movement was an abstract expressionist named Helen Frankenthaler, who passed away yesterday. She…

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That One Time I Skated On Thin Ice and Almost Died

Dear Diary, There was some good news and some bad news this Christmas. The bad news was that there was no snow in Yosemite. The good news was that because there was no snow, the Tioga Road was open. The Tioga Road leads to the isolated Tuolumne Meadows section of the park, about an hour away from my parents’ house. This meant that for the first time in my life we got to go up and ice skate on Lake Tenaya, which is one of the most beautiful, serene places on earth. First things first: here’s what I wore. Purple…

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Cream Puffs: My Grandmother and The Best Dessert Ever

Dear Reader, Growing up, my favorite holiday story was “A Christmas Memory” by Truman Capote. Anyone who has read that book knows how sentimental, sad, and magical it is. A lot of holiday stories are tinted with a bit of melancholy, and I’m sorry to say that this story about cream puffs features a bit of sadness. But that’s just the nature of this time of year, when family, tradition, and memories are at the forefront of our minds. Like many families, the Sorias place a tremendous amount of importance and meaning onto food. Food is a strange thing, practical…

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D.I. Why? Recovering A Stool. Or Not.

Dear Diary, The other day, I was just reupholstering a stool, minding my own business, when something AWESOME happened. I will tell you the story now. It begins with an ugly stool. Well, it’s not really ugly but the fabric on top is UberCheezBallz. Emily and I found it at the flea market for $30. This is what the stool looked like: I had all my supplies out to reupholster, ready to change the fabric to a white linen. But then when I removed the ugly fabric I found a pretty chevron fabric underneath. Yay! Thus, I decided to just…

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What To Do With A Gingerbeard

Dear My Face, So, first of all, a disclaimer that this post is going to seem totally narcissistic. Why? Because it is. It’s just me talking about my dumb face. So to those of you who are on the fence about me and my stupid personality, I’d skip this post and go to the next. Ok, so is anyone still there? Are you there God, it’s me, Orlando’s Facial Hair. Anyhoo, I’m constantly obsessing about my facial hair because when I have it I go crazy because it’s so itchy but when I don’t I feel naked and way less cool….

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My So-Called Tree: Decorationtimez!

Dear My Christmas Tree, Remember that one year I was gone for most of December so I didn’t decorate you until, like, two days before Christmas? Yeah, me neither. This year I found inspiration from the tree Emily designed on the Secrets From A Stylist Holiday Episode (If you haven’t seen it yet you are really cheating yourself. Watch here). The color palette for the show was greens, blues, and aquas. Which happen to be my favorite colors (Coincidence? I don’ think so!). Luckily, you can put pretty much any color on a silver tree because it’s a neutral color….

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Hay Menorah!

Dear Daily Planner, Just a reminder that Hanukkah starts at sunset tonight. I’ll be celebrating with this uberglamourous manzanita-inspired menorah. I love it because it’s not only a beautiful way to celebrate the Festival of Lights, it’s also a beautiful candle holder to use year round. West Elm came out with this baby last year and it was love at first sight. Happy Hanukkah, everyone! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Love, Orlando

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I’m Dreaming of a Pink Christmas

Dear Bestie Alexis, Thanks for having me over last night for your glamourous holiday party. Your pink Christmas tree really caught my eye. When you first told me about having a pink tree, I thought it was going to be totally cheesy and crazy, but it turned out awesome. The color is so warm and inviting and adorable. And your glittery ornament collection (purchased mostly at Moskatels in Downtown LA) complements the candy color of the tree perfectly. OrMOMdo made a few of your ornaments too, which added a little handmade character to your beautiful tree. Well done! I also…

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Lazy Costuming In New York

Dear Self, You know, packing for long vacations has never been your strong suit. I hate to break it to you, but you suck. Usually, you fill your suitcase with 25 neon t-shirts, 12 pairs of ugly pants, and as much sockage and underwearage as you can cram in. This is all fine and dandy until you get to Hawaii and you realize that none of the clothing you brought actually goes together. Bright pink pants, bright pink shirt, and a horse bolo tie? Unacceptable. Thus, on this last business trip to New York, I forced you to choose one…

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Funtimez At the Gugg: Maurizio Cattelan

Dear Diary, The other day I was just wandering around New York when I came upon the Guggenheim Museum (which I like to call “The Gugg,” pronounced “goog”) and decided to head on inside and check out the Maurizio Cattelan exhibit I’ve been dying to see since I heard it existed. Cattelan is an artist who works mainly in sculpture, making totally weird, exciting, and disturbing pieces ranging from stuffed dogs to naked ladies popping out of the wall. His show at the Gugg was a huge retrospective and, like, kind of a big deal (meaning there were 5 million…

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Crafting With orMOMdo: Felt Ornaments

Dear My Mother, Some of my favorite memories of you come from the holiday season, when you turn from a normal mom to Martha-Stewart-On-Crack-Mom. I don’t think there’s been a holiday in my life where you haven’t stayed up until after midnight night after night ferociously writing Christmas cards, dipping centerpieces in gold, making wreathes out of branches you cut from the back yard, and wrapping presents in repurposed papers and fancy ribbon. This year, you’ve chosen to make these adorable little felt ornaments as gifts and I have to say I just love them. I’ve never met a penguin…

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Me And My Drum

Dear Cute Little Drum Emily and I Bought for a Client, We bought you for Rachna (one of our most delightful clients) but I had to bring you inside to keep you warm until we deliver you because you are SO adorable. I’ll miss you, Drum, but I know Rachna will give you a good home. And if she doesn’t just call me, and I’ll come pick you up. I’ll always be there for you. Love, Orlando

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My So-Called Christmas Tree

Dear Diary, You know, Christmastime is my very favorite time of the year. This year, however, Christmas has lasted approximately six months and it’s starting to feel less like Christmas, more like Crackmas. I’m totally OD’ing. First, it was the holiday episode of Secrets From A Stylist, which was filmed in Los Angeles in August. Needless to say I was sweating my face off in my festive sweaters. Then, it was the Holiday Guide, something Emily and our team put together to tell people what to buy for their friends (and us). And now finally it’s the actual holiday season….

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Purple Rain on Brooklyn

Dear New York, I’ve been visiting you for the past two weeks and I’m writing this as I hurtle through the air on wireless internet equipped plane. Whilst in New York, I stay briefly with my friends Matt and Brandon who live in Brooklyn Heights in the most adorable and amazing apartment in Brooklyn. They’ve done some decorating around the house recently, so I wanted to share their progress. Firstly, how cute are they?!? This is the original color of their entire apartment. I don’t understand why all landlords seem to think everyone wants to live in dingy “Swiss Coffee”…

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