Orblogdo – Page 12 – Orlando Soria

Aug / 16 / 2013

This Week in Instagramz

Photos by Sabino00 on Instagram This week was one that took me on a crazy California adventure. I took a road trip with my friend Sabin to visit my parents in Yosemite, my hometown. My parents are moving soon, so each trip there is a little bittersweet, the anticipation of losing a place that helped form my identity as a total rural weirdo. Sabin is a master Instagramer, so this week I’m using mostly his images instead of mine. Mainly because every time I wanted to Instagram something he’d already done so, like, perfectly. This is the currently-dry Yosemite Falls, which…

Aug / 15 / 2013Aug / 16 / 2013

D.I.Why? Turning An Ugly PoorPeople Mirror into a Pretty RichPeople Mirror

Photos By Erika Gragg Dear You, Are you ever sitting at home, wishing that a stranger on the internet would tell you how to do something you already know how to do? Well you’re in luck, because today I am going to show you how to paint a frame. It’s an activity that’s so easy that a goldfish with no fins, tail, or eyeballs could do it. Here’s what you do: 1. Go to Goodwill, Out of the Closet, or another thrift store and buy an ugly splatter painted mirror. Make sure that although the paint is ugly, it is…

Aug / 14 / 2013

Take Me To Haverland: Part 2

Dear Michael Haverland, I’m obsessed with your architectural projects and have embarked on a series to expose them to the world. This week’s feature is the glamourous Waterfront House in East Hampton, New York. I love myself a giant window, and so this house is just what the doctor ordered. I love how simple and graphic the design of the exterior is. I am fascinated by these sculptural cast bricks on the exterior. And by “fascinated” I mean “confused.” And by “confused” I mean “worried.” And by “worried” I mean “angry.” That I’m not laying by this pool right now, sipping…

Aug / 13 / 2013Aug / 13 / 2013

In Honor of Jeffery Self: Empowering Breakup Songs

Dear The People Of The Internet, Have you been following Jeffery Self? I have. He looks like this: You can check him out on his hilarious YouTube channel and read see his posts on Tumblr. I fell in love with Jeffery and his co-comedian Cole years ago when I saw their ridiculously awesome Recession Video. A few years after he made that video, Jeffery started dating an adorable guy and they had the cutest relationship ever, which was documented heavily on social media. It looked like this: I met Jeffery and his boyfriend Patrick at a pool party last year and…

Aug / 9 / 2013

Friday Fashonz: What’s On Justin?

Dear Gorgeous Person Reading This Post, Are you reading Scout Sixteen? You should be. It’s just basically a whole site of Justin Livingston wearing cute outfits, standing on cute streets, being cute. So I’ve decided to start featuring him so that we can all ogle his outfits together. Enjoy! This week’s outfit is a glamorous floral shirt with some perfect-fitting jeans (I could use some of those). I need an outfit transplant. Like, now. Check out the full details of his ensemble here. Love, Orlando

Aug / 9 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

This Week in Instagramz

Dear California, I’ve been enamoured with you ever since I left you at 18 and spent all those years on the East Coast yearning to move back. Every day here is chock full of beautiful things to discover. Sometimes, I wake up, palm tree swaying outside my window and just think to myself “How many wonders can one cavern hold?” California. She’s got everything! This week took me on a glamourously lonesome trip to Ojai: My La Habra Heights Clients. I did a totally fun, hand-painted feature wall in their kids’ playroom. Now I kind of want kids so that…

Aug / 8 / 2013

Whut Glamour: New Illustrations from Richard Haines

Dear Richard Haines, Every once in a while I find it necessary to peruse all the wonderful drawings you share on your gorgeous blog What I Saw Today. They are the most beautiful fashion illustrations in the history of time and they make me want to live in a world where I am made out of gorgeous, gestural strokes of charcoal instead of flesh and bone. Here are some more recent entries: Love, Orlando PS: See more hyperbeautiful Richard Haines works here.

Aug / 7 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

What Happens in Ojai, Stays on Hommemaker

Dear Diary, My friend Evan had a birthday party in Ojai this past weekend. At his aunt’s uberglamourous Ojai estate. I went because I wanted to celebrate Evan, but also because I’d never been to Ojai and was always curious what it was about. My only impression of it comes from Real Housewives and Brothers & Sisters. It turns out it’s a totally cute place in the middle of nowhere. Which is the exact kind of place I like. The weekend was filled with glamorous pooltimez, drinking, and laughing whilst staring into each others eyes, loving (this creeps out my…

Aug / 6 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

Dear Gays, Are You Racist?

Dear Self, “What are you?” is a question I get a lot. Usually people ask me that question because they want to know what my ethnic background is. As you may have guessed by my full name, Orlando Dumond Soria, there’s a crazy collection of ethnicities going on behind these blue eyes, sandy brown hair, and butter-tone skin. My racial breakdown is as follows: Mexican 50% (via Spain, like generations ago). French/Polish/Scottish/English 50% (and probably every other European country). My father identifies strongly with his Mexican heritage, my mom sort of cares about her Whitepeople lineage, and I sort of…

Aug / 2 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

This Week in Instagramz

Dear Reader, It’s impossible to explain this week’s Instagramz, or my week in general, without first showing you this clip from “My So-Called Life”:[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J35604WHlEs] Yes, Angela, you’re right. There is something about Sunday that makes you want to kill yourself. I woke up on Sunday morning. Alone. In my bed. After a night where I tried to go out (To see Cher. At Rasputin. Like, ironically) but got too upset and depressed and sad about missing my ex boyfriend to do anything except go home and drink alone whilst watching The Truman Show. (Sidenote: Why does no one ever talk…

Aug / 1 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

Take Me to Haverland: Part 1

Dear Michael Haverland, I discovered your work a few months ago when I visited the gorgeous Abernathy House, a lovely estate you renovated in Palm Springs. I quickly became obsessed with your work and am now embarking on a series to share it with the rest of the world. I’m starting with your Glass House project, a beautiful Hamptons home that’s basically made out of windows. I am obsessed with light, so it’s my dream to live in a house that is made out of glass. All photographs courtesy Michael Haverland Architect. Photographs by Chris Bausch, Billy Cunningham, & Laurie Lambrecht….

Jul / 31 / 2013Jul / 31 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Art by Pierre Le Riche

Dear Pierre Le Riche, Why don’t I know you? I’m obsessed with your work. Your recent Broederbond installation is nothing short of genius. Juxtaposing the colors of the Gay Rainbow with rugby balls, you bring to light issues of oppression in post-apartheid South Africa. The work is playful, thoughtful, and intriguing. You describe it in the following way: Broederbond investigates the history of Afrikaner masculine hegemony in an attempt to validate the acceptance of homosexuality in Afrikaner culture. The body of work does not use vigorous activism to promote change, but rather becomes an activism that invites the viewer to grow. My art strives to…

Jul / 29 / 2013Jul / 29 / 2013

My Gay Identity Crisis: To Shave or Not to Shave Body Hair

Dear Braun, Thanks for the Series 5 Electric Razor you sent me. Clearly, you looked at my face and realized I was in need of a good shave. This is what my face normally looks like. Sort of in-between scruff and beard. Baby beard: Sometimes I crop off my beard for stubble, that looks like this: I’m pretty sure this is the last time my face didn’t have at least a little hair on it: When I received this delightful Braun razor, I wasn’t really sure what to do with it since I don’t normally shave my face. So naturally…

Jul / 22 / 2013Jul / 22 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Textiles Designed by a Hunk and His Dog

Dear Diary, This weekend I found out about a glamorous line of luxurious textiles designed by a Hunk and his dog. The brand is called Zak + Fox. The name derives from these two homosexuals: It’s not easy to find fabric that is modern and cool without being cheesy and disgusting, so I was excited to find this company. Also, I find it totally mind-boggling when Hunks design things. Like how Brad Pitt is all “I’m an architect” and everyone just looks at him and goes “Take off your shirt and go frolic with a beach ball.” There is a…

Jul / 19 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

This Week In Instagramz

Dear Reader, Here is what my life looked like for the past two weeks, based on my Instagram feed. How amazing is this beautiful hand sculpture? It’s at the gross mall in Santa Rosa that I forced my BFF from HS to take me to so that I shop my break-up woes away. A fun fact about this place is that they have the best Forever 21 Mens department in the United States of America. I’m serious. Go there! Yes, I know you’ve seen this site a million times, but how could one EVER get sick of the Golden Gate…

Jul / 18 / 2013

Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent’s Ugly House

Dear Gays, Have you seen the Harper’s Bazaar spread of Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent’s Totally Ugly Hollywood Hills House? I have. And when I say “Totally Ugly,” I mean, totally glamorous and enviable and like the exact house I want to live in right now. Which makes me want to die. Are you ever just, like, minding your own business, thinking life is totally fine, when all the sudden you see something that makes you feel like a homeless troll that lives in a cardboard box under a bridge? Well, that’s exactly how I felt when I saw Jeremiah and Nate’s house….

Jul / 17 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

How Marriage Equality Ruined My Life

Dear The Person Doing Me The Favor of Reading This Blog, Perhaps you have noticed I have been gone. Where have I been, you ask? Here’s a hint (in the form of a card I received in the mail from The Blake Wright): Yes, my relationship is over. The relationship I waited my whole life for, since I came out at age 15 is through. And I’m like totally a disgusting mess. I don’t really know why I am telling you this, except for that I feel this need to explain myself. Like why I’m acting like such a weirdo…

Jul / 9 / 2013Jul / 9 / 2013

Whut Glamour: Graphic Tees from Calvin Klein

Dear You, I’ve been absent for a while, sorry! I have a super good explanation but I can’t tell you about it yet because it’s top secret… In other news, do you spend hours every day wishing all of your clothing combined your love for of the gorgeous sky with your love of geometric shapes? Well, thankfully, Calvin Klein has answered all your prayers with this glamorous collection of ridiculously colorful landscape v. graphica sweaters. Check it out. Calvin Klein Spring 2014 Menswear Collection I pretty much feel that these were designed specifically for me. And I want all of…

Jun / 14 / 2013

Why I’m So Obsessed With The Blake Wright

Dear The Blake Wright, Sometimes, I have days where I don’t know what I’m doing. When I’m doing like 17 jobs at once. I run from pretending to do one task to pretending to another. And then I go sit at a coffee shop and wonder why neither of the tasks I was supposed to do got done. And then I look at Facebook and my life feels meaningful. But then I realize my life is not meaningful specifically because I am looking at Facebook. And then I daydream about what Gay movie I want to watch later. The latest one…

Jun / 13 / 2013

Whut Glamour: New Book from Carlo Van de Roer

Dear People With Eyeballs and Brains, If you’ve been paying very close attention, you probably know I love the glorious work of photographer Carlo Van de Roer. HARK! He is releasing a new book of his Portrait Machine Project series and I am totally excited about owning it, ogling it, and caressing it. Read more about The Portrait Machine project here. And then pre-order your book here. Do both of those things right now. Love, Orlando PS: Read my previous post on Carlo here.

Jun / 12 / 2013Jun / 12 / 2013

That One Time I Stumbled Into The Most Amazing House In The World

Dear Donatella Versace (Pre-Facelift and Lip-Injection), A few weeks ago, I put my Gaggle of Gays in the trunk of my car and took them to Palm Springs for a weekend of meaningless pool parties, long theoretical pool-side discussions, and mid-day jogs in 109 degree weather. Yes, it was Memorial Day in the desert, and every single homosexual I know was in Palm Springs wandering around looking for fun. Our goal was to make our weekend as brainless and undignified as possible. Which we excelled at until, like alcoholic homeless prostitutes poised for humiliation and social ostracization, we drunkenly stumbled…

Jun / 10 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

Is Gay Pride a Shame?

Dear Diary, This past weekend was LA’s Gay Pride celebration, three days of drinking and debauchery in honor of our Community. As is always the case, I noticed a lot of haters this year, bagging on Gay Pride from a number of different viewpoints. The most obvious protestors are the uber-religious zealots holding “God Hates Fags” signs along the parade route. And then there’s the classic self-hating gays who think the festival makes us all look like freaks. But this year was the first year I noticed so many progressive, Gay-positive people who were totally alienated from the entire weekend…

May / 20 / 2013Oct / 12 / 2013

Palm Tree Get On My Face

Dear Diary, Because I live in Los Angeles, most of my waking hours are spent thinking about palm trees, coconuts, fruit flavored gum, sunscreen, and palm trees. And did I mention palm trees? Also, being that this coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend, the entire homosexual population of Los Angeles will be evacuating to Palm Springs. I actually have no idea what happens to people who stay in LA. What do they do with no gay waiters to feed them at restaurants? No gay hairstylists to do their hair? And no gay decorators to decorate their homes? Every single gay…

May / 20 / 2013

Check Out This Homme Makeover!

Dear You, One time, I decorated my apartment, and all was good. But then I got bored, so I decorated it again. But then I got bored again so I decorated it again. And then I wrote a post about it for Emily’s Blog. Go check it out! You can do it! Love, Orlando PS: Don’t forget to click here in order to be sent to Emily’s blog where your eyeballs will marvel at the glamorous photos Zeke Ruelas took of my place.